Mlogosphere

Stupidity Reigns Supreme Here ... still

2011-05-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

It's a rainy Sunday morning and the three year old is starting to act snakey. It's been a crappy spring so we have been trying to find more indoor things to do. This morning I think he is hitting a limit. He is spinning in circles, hassling the cat and carrying on a continuous, non sequential conversation that I MUST listen too because every topic is of critical importance. It's like someone slipped my kid some acid or something. He's gone a little loopy. Oh, the cat just hissed at him, we'll see how this turns out.

I decided a few days ago that I was going to concoct a skin treatment for myself and not use the usual OTC stuff that I do. First lesson of allergic reactions, If you had a reaction to something 10 years ago, chances are you will have it again. Especially if it's contact dermatitis. I was very careful to make a very low dilution. Didn't matter. Tea Tree is like skin death for me.

I used it for a couple of days and then it happened. Anywhere where I had used the Tea Tree got very red, very itchy, very swelled, hive like rashes and really painful. I am an idiot. It's exactly what happened last time. I thought it was just I had used too strong a solution last time, so I made about a 2% this time. No. I have had 3 days of ridiculous itching and rashes and been in a Benadryl haze for the last couple of days. This has to be one of my top five dumb moves. I am just getting over a horrible cold, have constant back pain from pregnancy, can't sleep well and then ... I add this. Where is my stupid moron trophy? It could be worse. The cold is getting better, the back pain will go away after she comes out and the rash will heal, but really, I could have used better judgment.

Friday was suppose to be a nice day. The first in a long time, and with more rain on the horizon I thought we should get out for a couple of hours. We went to VanDuessen. I thought it would be nice, and there are a lot of benches for sitting (because I am weary this is now important). I had no idea my son would love it. He thought it was great! He roared around, found bridges, magical places, secret tunnels, turtles and cool bugs. He didn't want to go when it was time for us to go. So we went back on Saturday. Again he had a ball and we even got a ride to the maze which he adventured through twice. We missed the rain that threatened over head and ended up at White Spot for dinner. He was dunzo by bed time and in fact slept in until past 8 this morning. Too bad my internal baby decided to get going a little after 7 and had a party for one that woke me up.

Pictures have nothing to do with the post.

2011-05-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

It's getting close. Closer and closer every day. Thank goodness. I've decided I'm about done with being pregnant.
Lucky me, I got a cold a few days ago and coughing is absolutely excruciating. I think I pulled a muscle and now even the smallest cough radiates pain across my belly. It really sucks.

I went and invested (?) in a Belly Bandit today. It's essentially a stomach binder post partum. I'm hoping that it helps with my wobbly posture, jelly belly and sore back that I hope to avoid this time. I remember after having my son, I was all wobbly and unsure how to hold my posture, my back hurt a lot, and I felt really weak. I've heard about these binders and thought I'd give it a shot. I've spent money on worse things.

I have a little over a month of work left. yipee!! Hopefully I get a few days before she decides to show up. This pregnancy has been so different, from the sciatica, to the anemia and the late night party for one that keeps me waking up. She's head down and in the pelvis as of my last visit. So while that is a good position for her to be in, once again, my bladder is taking the brunt of it.

I think we have everything we need for the first while anyway. That is to say, we don't have much. It's by design. She won't need a lot of clothing. It's going to be summer when she is super tiny and we heat up like the the seventh level of hell in our apartment so I am guessing onsies for everyone! I didn't get a bunch of the extra 'essentials' that really aren't essential at all. We live in a shoe box, so I am being very critical of what I procure. I made a sling and another carrier and I have the ergo. We are converting the toddler bed back to the crib and my son gets his new bed in a couple of weeks. I'm sure I'll find some things that I will need, but hopefully not too much. And I swear that if our home becomes awash in a puke of pink, I will go nuts. Yes she's a girl, no she is not a sparkle glitter pony cotton candy butterfly. Blame it on the boy coming first, plus my natural aversion to the colour pink.
Mother's Day was great this year. My husband had made arrangements to go to a fancy brunch, but on waking and feeling like the ground under a pile of shit, I asked that we cancel and do something simpler instead. I also thought the price was a bit steep for my walnut sized stomach. So I asked for a rain-cheque for next year. We went and had waffles at White Spot instead and then coffee at cafe Calabria. Way more the speed I was feeling that day. My family is awesome.

Spring is kind of sucking!!

2011-03-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well I wish I could be all sunshine and roses, but that's just not me at the best of times now is it? Things could be worse, I am sure, way worse.

Work is nuts. Seriously. So busy that my list of things I need to accomplish is even exhausted. I haven't had much time to relax or enjoy anything lately. I'm going from one thing to another and another and another. This isn't even baby stuff. It's just normal life crap! Then Spring arrived. JeeZuss! I think I am allergic to Spring again. My allergies have returned with a vengeance. I am still trying to figure out if I have a cold or if I have allergies. If it's a cold, it's a long one, if it's allergies, this is really going to suck.

Still pregnant, still growing rotund. She was sitting, laying, or whatever it is she does in there all day long, really low. This was starting to affect my ability to walk in the evening, but I think she has moved because things are way more comfortable. She is starting to make herself known in the upper region of my ever expanding belly and is leaving my bladder and colon alone for the time being. Nothing like being kicked in the ass from the inside repeatedly I tell you.

I've been reading some new views on parenting and kids and I am thrilled. I am seeing more and more people admit that their greatest hope is that they don't permanently screw up their kids, and that believe it or not, they aren't super dad or super mom and their kids aren't some sort of gifted geniuses, just kids.

This whole having kids thing isn't picture perfect and you do what you can to get by, even if that means non-organic ice cream with cheetos for dinner every once in a while. It's not that I am trying to set the bar low, not at all. I think I am just trying to be a bit more real about it. It's not a beautiful walk in the park with my spotlessly clean impeccably polite 3 year old who has a firm command of at least 2 spoken languages and can already do complex math. No, it's more like a mad frenzied whirling dervish who while incredibly cute, keeps trying to turn everything into a gun, manages to get anything sticky on everything, freaks out, doesn't like to put clothes on or eating green things, sleeps intermittently, and frustrates me to no end. But then he tells me he loves me.

A friend was telling me how she felt kind of odd, or inadequate when she was talking to an acquaintance. The acquaintance described her daughter as profound and gifted. I looked at my friend and laughed. I said, "Really? She said that? Wow, my kid wants a fart gun and picks his nose." My friend started laughing too and told me that her kid wanted the squid launcher. Ha!

Things have been slow and steady. Cake is becoming a staple in our house. Amazingly, it's making dinner more palatable. Imagine that.

Here is what he looks like after a Blueberry Waffle bender at White Spot.

After a few days of waking up multiple times during the night and then dragging his butt through the day, he crashed hard.

We went down to the ocean and went for a walk and found a gigantic bird.

What a Difference a Year Makes!

2011-02-27T08:32:00.000-08:00

Last year around this time, people were wandering around in their t-shirts remarking what lovely weather we were having.

This morning I awoke to a snowy wonderland and for the last week it's been very chilly. Most of the time hovering around 0 degrees C or below. People in other places in the province are making fun of our thin skins and lack of ability to handle the cold. The news is issuing warnings and really it's quite ridiculous. You do need to put on a coat, hat and perhaps gloves, but for most of us, all we need to employ is common sense. I do think that we need to look out for homeless people. This weather will affect them and they need somewhere warm, safe and clean to go. More shelters are opening up, but I hear some are thought to be risky and some people opt to stay out in the cold because they don't feel safe in a shelter.

Yesterday before the snow started to fall, I went to my spinning class. I love that class. I hope I can keep it up. It's pretty challenging. This class was the first time that I actually felt pregnant. It was like something extra was attached to the fly wheel. I recognize that my body is very busy right now doing things, but it was a weird feeling to feel like I was given'r and I was doing about half the effort that I use to. I still had a great workout. I've been doing water aerobics too. It's like an hour of free time away from gravity. I can work out, do the water walking, arm swooshing, crunches and legs lifts all with ease and some (ok very little) grace. When I get out of water when it's over, it feels like gravity is smooshing me and I am a little wobbly. But it's worth it. I am the token preggo. I'm surprised more preggos don't go but I'm guessing prenatal yoga is where they all are.
I know that would good for me, but I just can't handle the monologue that goes along. How I am getting my body ready for a beautiful bonding experience and how birth is a beautiful and magical time.
I don't know about you, but I was at my last birth, and it wasn't beautiful, or magical. Maybe people not actively involved in the birthing thought it was, but for me the birther it wasn't. That's not to say it wasn't worth it, or I was traumatized or any thing like that.
I just don't think mind having numbingly painful contractions, and being a puking, contorting, sweaty, mess is a beautiful experience. So pretending it is, (for me) is not an option. So I am skipping the yogas.
Today we've got a birthday party to go to. Hopefully we'll get in a snowball fight or two before it all rains away.

I see Princesses, Lolipops, and Unicorns in my future.

2011-02-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

It's a girl! (It's a blurry pic of the growing child, but it's all I've got right now)

We had to wait until I went to see my midwife to find out. There are all kinds of policies so even though everyone looking at your baby can see the gender, they won't tell you. Very frustrating.
Now I am in a furious panic to sort out all the stuff I had been hanging on to in the event another boy should spring forth from my body. I've had interesting conversations with Reilley about babies. He told me he thinks that he has a baby in him too, that my baby looks like Pooh-Bear, the baby eats my dinner, and he has volunteered to help with diapers. It's been entertaining to say the least.
We went to aquarium to visit some friends, you know the sharks, turtle, various other fishes and oh of course he had time to pull off a Thunder Snap. It's a move he's working on.

Today Reilley got his first real hockey stick. There was some fierce competition in the park today.

Last week me and my friend Rebecca went to a Secret Supper. We were picked up on a trolley and we had one course at a home in East Vancouver, another course at an Antique Shop and finished off with dessert at the Botanical Gardens where I am sure the parrots were quite pissed at us. It was dark, they were confused because they thought the should be sleeping. One lady got bombed. In the parrots' defence, she was sitting right underneath. I loved the garden. It was an adventurous evening. I only wish I had not work maternity nylons. Those bloody things were a huge pain in the ass. Or better put they kept sliding down over my ass! I'd be walking and I'd feel them slipping, slipping, slipping. What are you to do when you are with a crowd of 20 or so strangers on a dinner quest walking around and you are afraid at any moment they will see the top of your nylons? I get the idea behind the maternity nylons, but in practice, they failed me. Badly.

Adventures in the Desert

2011-01-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

For future reference, if you ever travel solo with a toddler, pay the extra cash and get a direct flight. Last year me and my then 2 year old traveled to Arizona to visit my parents. We had a connecting flight each way and it made for an incredibly long and trying travel days. This year
my now 3 year old and me set out to the same place, but it was a different journey.

I found a flight from WestJet and it flies direct to Palm Springs. While Palm Springs is not in AZ, it is closer to parents place than Phoenix. We left super early in the morning for our 7:40 am flight not knowing what to expect for the dreaded security line up. Turns out it was not much. I guess a pregnant lady with a toddler doesn't look too terrifying. Less than 3 hours after a non eventful flight we got off the plane and voila! We were there.

We had a great time. We went to the desert and saw a cactus forest. Seriously. Cactus forest.

We went to the Yuma proving grounds and saw fighter jets, tanks, choppers and even got to see/feel some bombing practice. That was a little unnerving, but kind of neat none the less. We went down to the train yards to watch some freight trains because my father wanted to fuel the fire that is the toddler train junkie. A wave and whistle blow from the engineer made his day.

My parents joined the loyal order of the Moose or some such name like that. It's a club. I'm not sure what they do, but while we were there there was a rib dinner we went to. I could not believe that my son tried ribs. I'm pretty squeemish about meat on bones and I tried really hard to not let it show and have him make up his own mind. He ended up liking them. Truthfully they were very delicious once I got past the whole rib bone thing. My son was a big hit with the ladies. One of my mom's friends said she wanted to eat him up and he got concerned that she was going to try to.

I saw date palms and how dates grow. Then my dad treated us all to date shakes. They were delicious. The weather the whole time we were there was gorgeous. It was in the mid to high 20's every day. We set up a wading pool outside for my son and while he played various games he made up we lounged in my parents gazebo thingamabob.

My mother has a love of colour and lights and sparkly things. I must get it from her. I think we are part gypsy or perhaps crow. She has a little palm tree that she has strung lights in and she has coloured lights in the gazebo thingamabob, a little tree with fiber optic lights, rope lights and all kinds of things like that. It kind of looks like a fortune teller tent or something. I really like it.

There are a few things that I really like about the desert. It cools off at night so even if it was hot in the day, it's cool enough at night to sleep. The stars and moon seem bigger there. Arizona has very few street lights so things are darker. The moon was full when I was there and it was so bright that it cast a shadow.

Anything that lives there works at it. The plants are mean and pokey. The animals are wiley, hearty, and smart and water is precious.

It was a great week and the visit with my parents was wonderful. I only get to see them a few times a year and I miss them so it was great to spend time with them. I hope to go up to Port Hardy in August - September for a couple of weeks. I think it would be nice to be with family while I struggle with new born induced sleep deprivation. At least my mom can laugh with me when I tell her I swear I saw the carpet move.

Now we are home and things are back to normal on Monday. Well as normal as they get any way.

Cannibals

2010-12-31T20:40:00.000-08:00

Since returning from our short Chistmas break, I noticed 3 fish in the aquarium and not 4. I left a feeding tablet thingy good for 7 days so I thought they would all be ok. There was a missing tetra. I looked around the bottom of the tank and found no corpse. Today I thought that I would find the unfortunate aquatic creature in the filter as I changed it out.

My son thought it would be great fun to help me clean the tank. I was hoping we didn't come across belly up fishy. After cleaning the filter and moving a few other things around that may have housed the tiny body, I realized that it was nowhere to be found. I muttered to myself, "They must have eaten him." My son hearing this instantly keyed in on it and started to pepper me with questions about who ate the fish, why there were only 3, and if the other fish were mean.

Great, a life lesson about guppies and cannibalism. For the rest of the afternoon, my son would remind me and our guests that the fish had eaten another fish.

For a New Years Eve with no plans, we had a pretty busy day. We had friends over to watch the Canadian Junior game and have some nachos, and them we all packed up and went over to another friends' house for yet another hockey game. I left early because my son said he wanted to go home. He looked really tired and he told me he was hungry. We got home and I whipped up some soup and milk and cookies for dessert. After we had a tea party and he practically fell into bed. Now I am watching Dirty Dancing and eating a Wagon Wheel. Nothing like ringing in the new year with the Swayze. Man do I know how to party. I'm an animal!

Day 2 - Victory!

2010-12-30T19:23:00.000-08:00

Today was a lazy day, but it was nice. We went to see the midwife and all is well. The whole family came because we are all still on vacation and I thought it would be nice for everyone to hear the heartbeat so it feels more real for everyone, not just me. My son was standing by the midwife when the heartbeat could be heard. She asked him if he could hear the heartbeat and he said, "Is it a puppy?" We all started laughing. So funny.
It was a sunny, but very cold day, so we opted for a trip down to the beach. My son got a Stryder bike for Christmas and the seawall is flat and wide, so we thought it would be a great place to go, plus there is coffee near by. What we didn't realize was it was really quite cold out so except for my son, we were under dressed and chilly. He rode his bike on the sidewalk and on the sand for about an hour and then we decided that since limbs were getting numb, it was time to go.
After a couple stops looking for gnocci (Capers didn't have it, Famous of course did) we came home. I had a bath to warm up and then started the adventure that was to be dinner.

I made creamy tomato something or other. It's completely vegetarian and I think probably vegan. We also found that when Zane goes on his cleanse next week, it is a meal that he can eat. It's got onions, garlic, canned tomatoes, leafy greens, tofu, soy milk and a whole bunch of spices. I made it over gnocci but it could go over anything, and with the cleanse, I'll make it with brown rice.

As I was making it, there was some 3 year old drama. He wanted spaghetti (big surprise, are you getting the sarcasm here?) and I told him, I was making pasta with tomato sauce. Major drama ensued. He told me he didn't like pasta. I told him that spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, and lasagna are all pasta. He didn't buy it. Then dinner came and he came to the table and said he thought he might like pasta. I had whizzed up his sauce so he couldn't see the chard, tofu etc and diced the gnocci a little smaller and put a little shaker cheese on top and he tried a bite told me he thought it was great and proceeded to have 2 helpings. I was absolutely amazed. He was eating tons of good stuff and he was liking it. Score one for me. Hells yea!

I made soup tonight, it was good.

2010-12-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

I think it's time to get more healthy. Slowly, slowly, I have been slipping. With very little time, a very picky toddler and did I mention, not a lot of time, it's an uphill battle that I didn't have the effort for.
Zane decided that he was going to do a new year cleanse and while I can't do a cleanse right now, I thought I could make a few dietary changes for the better. So tonight I took the plunge and made carrot, squash, ginger soup with cornmeal muffins. It really was not a big deal. Zane helped with the chopping, and while it simmered I took a bath to help ease my back, and then I made the cornmeal muffins and used the hand blender to make the soup a lovely puree.
I took it the table and hoped for the best. My son came to the table and asked what it was. I said it's winter soup and honey muffins. He bought it, sat down and proceeded to give it a go. Then, wonder of wonders, he told me it was good. I was gobsmacked. This is the kid that for a solid year would only eat peanut butter. He is getting older and getting a bit more adventurous and food is less of a battle ground so this is a welcome surprise.
Tomorrow I go to the midwife and get a check up. A lot of my nausea is gone which is great. I forgot how much nausea sucked. At least I don't have to worry about excessive weight gain right now. Ha ha.

Poetry Slam at the Rio

2010-04-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

Poems, judge heckling, a marriage proposal, threats of stolen bacon, fist pumping, balls, and violence. It was totally not what I was expecting. Oh yes there was a scene. There always is. People trying too hard. They in part make up the scene, But, ‘outsiders’ like myself see them for what they really are. Trying too hard to be a part of something and forcing their way in. It shows, and it’s boring to watch and makes their efforts even more trivial and poorly played. Then there are those who are effortless. They should be there. They breathe life in to the evening and the event and they don’t even know it. I want to say thanks to them for being there, even though I’ve no idea who they are and probably will never see them again. But the impression while temporary will probably leave some sort of lasting effect. I know the balls will.

I’m not sure if it was in error, or a calculated risk that went wrong, or a sincere part of the performance, but it is an image that I can’t get out of my head. I’m sure the poem was good and witty and painted the right picture with words, but I can’t remember it. I just remember his balls. He got up on stage, readied himself and began. He wandered a bit across the stage as he got deeper and deeper into his prose. His kilt swayed as he moved. Then he squatted down over a stage light emanating from the floor and I saw his 2 dangley balls hanging down. I really didn’t want to see anyone’s brightly lit nether parts. Whether it was suppose to be a part of the poem or not, he took away from the words with his actions. The words that I wanted to hear, but all I could do was stare and remark to myself and anyone around me, “Am I looking at his balls, yep I am.”

The whole premise behind a poetry slam is really entertaining. It removes some of the ideas I had of what a poetry reading would be. There were very few tweed jackets, no pipes that I could see and no air of entitlement of the performers on stage that I could pick up on. It’s kind of like spoken word for the lay person. Anything goes and words, phrases and lines that ring true for one reason or another are rewarded.
As I sat in my seat and shared the Glosette Peanuts my friend bought I watched the evening unfold before me. I was instructed on the proper technique for a fist pump and at impromptu times during the evening the host would have us all fist pump and yell out a nickname for one of the organizers of the event. It was to pay homage to his tireless efforts.

The judges are picked from audience members. They judge on a scale of 1 to 10. There are 3 rounds and each poem is timed and if the poet goes over the allotted time, the time keeper lets everyone know. In response the crowd yells in unison, “You rat bastard, you’ve ruined it for everyone, but it was well worth it.” Or something of that nature. It gets quite serious. After a particularly good performance the time keeper held up is watch and cackled with glee and announced the poet had gone over time. In response, he was hit in the head with an empty beer can.

The crowd heckles the judges and lets them know if they agree with their decisions. At one point, after some heckling and people yelling for judges to do the right thing, someone yelled out, “I know who you are and where you live. I will follow you home and take all of your bacon.” On another occasion, in response to what she felt was an unacceptable low score, a woman yelled out to the judges, “Read a book!”

I recall getting goosebumps on 3 different occasions. I love what people can do with words. I don’t want a scene drawn up for me and then shoved down my throat. Don’t tell me what to think in response to the words you are saying, but rather let me build my emotional and physical response on my own. I don’t think the person who won the overall competition should have. He was very entertaining, but in my opinion undeserving of the overall title.

One poet in particular I found boring and predictable. Every phrase was an opposite stretching as far across the chasm as possible. Overplayed, overwritten, over punctuated, and underwhelming. You can’t force power into words. The power has to be waiting there in the first place.

Some of the poets had such power in their words and delivery, it was arresting. It’s bare, really bare what these people get up and do. It wasn’t all depths of the bowels feelings and loving misery as your mistress kind of stuff. One of the poets, a gentleman that looked like a nice, kind of dorky, dad had a different delivery for each poem. One made me laugh at the manic hilarity, one was a great word dance, and one was utterly fantastic. It left me speechless, restless, sad, and inspired all at the same time. The topics in the competition were the usual fair I would expect with poetry, love, social injustice, sex, abuse, and the like. Then there were the rogues. David Suzuki hates this poem was a personal favourite. The poem about love that was at the end turned into a marriage proposal was quite intimate and sweet.

A few guest poets to performed to spice things up and they were effortless to watch and listen to. I could understand what they were saying without making it an academic exercise in how to be overly clever with words. I loved what they said. I appreciated the delivery and the experience.

There was that finger snapping thing at times, too. I don’t get that. I must google it and figure it out. As best as I can guess, people snap their fingers because perhaps clapping is loud and they want to show appreciation for the words, but don’t want to interrupt the performance. Maybe??

I had no idea there was a poetry community of sorts here in Vancouver. I also had no idea it was so healthy and diverse. I think I will be going again.

2010-01-24T21:13:00.000-08:00

It's been a very eventful few weeks. A couple of weeks ago, I packed up my son, and went to visit my parents who now live half the year in Yuma. We had a connecting flight there and back which pretty much made for a entire long day of traveling. The thing that saved me was not the colouring book, toys, story books or snacks. No, it was a portable DVD player, toddler headphones (smaller and limited to 80 decibels), and 3 Toopy and Binoo disks. He traveled very well all things considered and while it was a challenge to travel solo with a toddler, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

We had a great visit with my parents. The weather was great and we had quite a few adventures. We went out to the desert and saw some huge cactus, an abandoned mining town and even a coyote.

Yesterday my son was complaining mildly about his left ear. He would tug on it a bit and say ow. He's getting his molars and just getting over a cold so we gave him a dose of tylenol and he seemed ok. Last night we had a friend come over to look after our son while me and my husband went to the Canucks game. My son is quite taken with my friend and was so excited to hear she was coming over. When she arrived, he ran outside and waited for her. As we were leaving, he said bye mommy, bye daddy have a good time. We laughed on our way out and knew that there would be no problems.
We went to the restaurant and had a tasty dinner and then off to the game. I had some serious pee issues going on and had to go pee 3 times in the first period so I shut down the taps and didn't drink anything else. We had good seats. We were up behind Luongo and close enough that I actually watched the game and not the jumbotron. I haven't been to a game in ages and I really enjoyed myself. I was sick as a dog, but determined to enjoy myself. You can now text security at GM Place if someone around you is being an ass. I think it will cut down on fights, or at least make them shorter.
After the game was over we got our tickets for the train and my husband was trying to get through the throng of people. A very drunk and angry guy gave him a push. My husband pushed back. I was thinking to myself that there is no way this is going to turn into a fight. So I got in between the 2 of them and used my most powerful stern army general voice and told drunk guy to go back to the line. I didn't call him out, beak at him or say anything nasty, I just told him to get back. To my surprise it worked. I attribute my kick-boxing class for giving me the confidence to be able to do that. Plus I'm a mom and a drunk angry old guy has pretty much the same, or dare I say, less mental capacity of a kid mid tantrum. So I didn't get emotional, I just gave an order. In this case, it worked.
This morning we were awoken by a very, very unhappy boy. He had an earache and it was causing him a lot of pain. Our doctor wasn't available so we took him to Children's. He was seen right away and they saw the infection and told us to give him some ibuprofen and we filled a prescription for amoxicillin. Here's where I get nervous.
I am deathly allergic to penicillin. I wear a bracelet. I had a reaction when I was about 8. It was from penicillin for an ear infection. I had a lot of ear infections. In fact, every antibiotic I have tried since my reaction, I have been unable to tolerate. This is my son's first time taking antibiotics so I am really hoping he is not allergic. My brother died of a penicillin reaction so you can understand the anxiety.
Hopefully things remain uneventful for the next few days.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T12:59:00.000-08:00

2010 came rather quietly for us last night. I struggled and made myself stay awake. It wasn't pretty. I did manage to kill an entire bottle of Freixnet and today I feel fine. I think it was the fantastic Indian food we ate last night. It was delicious.

We started out at our friends' place for a quick visit and a drink. We came home to finish watching the US/Canada world juniors game and to order an Indian feast. Canada won in a shootout. Then we decided to watch LOR. Good flick. I've always got time for wizards and elves and such.

Today the weather is absolute shit, I ate my take out leftovers for lunch and have been to toddler gym. I have a mini bottle of sparkling wine to polish off (shouldn't take much time at all) and then it's on to alcohol free weekends and healthier eating. I never make resolutions so I hope I don't fail miserably.

My son is watching Toopy and Binoo. He's crazy for them. My husband thinks Toopy sounds like a psycho when he laughs and I tend to agree. My son likes them so much he wanted to leave toddler gym early so he could watch Toopy and Binoo. The stories are ok and they use tons of imagination.Well I think I will go sort some piles of crap out, have a bath and make a grocery list. I know, how exotic!

Almost a new year, ignoring my blog has left me guilty.

2009-12-30T19:38:00.000-08:00

Tis the season of over indulgence in everything and then the guilt that comes afterwards.

Life is plugging along. We had our first actual party in our place since we moved in. It was great. I made too much food, there were kids everywhere and a general mayhem.

Over the last 2 years we have been fairly strict with our son and the daily routine. For us it worked. We have meal times where everyone sits at the table. Now that he's 2 and super picky. Supper time is pretty hit or miss. He gags on mashed potatoes, won't touch cheese or anything harboring cheese (like a quesadilla), and for the most part dislikes food. Yet he gobbled up a Grill'ems, lives for beans and I do believe he could be considered addicted to peanut butter.

We also have a fairly routine evening. Bath, books, bed. Usually all said and done by 8:30.

That being said, this year for the holidays, we let a lot of that slip and my boy did great. He loves routine and in the past when we let it slide, he didn't fare so well, so when he seemed fine this time around, I thought it was great.

Around the end of the week though, I think he was wearing thin. As Murphy would have it, right in time for the holidays, he has decided to quit napping. Or he's on a nap strike, I'm not sure which. But for now, he's done with them. He's not completely unbearable by the end of the day so I am thinking the no-nap thing will most likely stick. Sigh. It was nice while it lasted.

Christmas was insane. I thought we spoiled our son, but then Grandma and Grandpa came to visit. It's great because he has many more age appropriate toys, but I think it was very overwhelming to have all the gifts and company. One night, he had a complete melt down and about a half hour after everyone left, he was fine and quietly playing by himself.

It was wonderful to have family visit. We have no family here so when they visit, it's a treat. My son and I were suppose to travel to Phoenix to visit my family, but canceled the trip because my son got sick and some yahoo decided to try and blow up a plane on Christmas so the TSA jacked up security to ridiculous levels. I got a doctor's note and was able to re-book no charge. My advice ... get travelers insurance, it's worth it.

The new year is fast approaching and I am actually considering making a resolution. Both me and my husband want to be more healthy. So as of January 1st, we've decided to start with the main culprit and work from there. For us the main culprit is alcohol. Not that we drink too much, usually one or two drinks, but then there is the snacking, ordering out etc. that go along with it. So we thought if we cut out the booze for a bit it would make it easy to make healthier choices. I personally would like to get rid of 20 pounds. I am giving myself the better part of 2010 to get rid of it and make it stick.

So I have a small limited amount of boozing left to do and half a bottle of sparkling wine in the fridge. Let's talk again in 2010. I foresee a great year of rants and opinions, and of course epiphanies.

Cat Poop, Canada Day, and Ketchup

2009-06-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have a love hate relationship with "the cat". She has a name, but nobody uses it. Instead she's called kitty, or cat legs, or legs for short. She is a agoraphobic shut in who hates everybody. If you touch her she looks like she's in pain and if you pick her up she thinks that you are going to kill her and fights to be free.

She rarely comes out when people are home however you know there is a cat because she leaves 'cat sign'. Things like barf in really inconvenient places, litter everywhere because of her need to explode from the litter box sometimes in mid poo so she hurtles turds everywhere, or the cat hair that bathes our entire apartment and everything I own. When people ask if I have a cat I say kind of and then often follow up with, "it's complicated."

Tomorrow is Canada Day and I took the day off from work. What we me and my little whirling dervish of peanut butter and goo do? I'm not totally sure but I think we may go to Granville Island and get some temporary tattoos and do some boogying in the park.

Speaking of boogie, my kid totally cracked me up yesterday. He shoved his finger up his nose and then said boo-gie. I said what, and he said boo-gie. I just started laughing.

I have recently learned of the sweet evil of ketchup for toddlers. I made some fries as part of lunch and I gave him a little puddle of ketchup and showed him how to dip. He loved it. He ate all the potato. So it gave me an idea for eggs. He use to love eggs, but he's been off them for a long time. So I made them omlette style and then cut it into strips and gave him a puddle of ketchup to dip. He thought it was wonderful.

Friday Night Blog

2009-06-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

My kid dropped the f-bomb multiple times today. I don’t know where he learned it. But much like shit, he uses the f-bomb correctly. How can he know this?? He’s 1 and a half!
He got really sick a couple of weeks ago. I think he got it from “The Infection”. A name I coined for a kid at play group. He was all glassy eyed and sweaty and his nanny kept running over and wiping his nose. He hassled my kid for a bit until my son yelled and told him to go away. A few days later, it was pukesville for him and I got sick a few days after that. I seriously wanted to be shot and put out of my misery.
I’ve taken it easy this week because I am still feeling wiped.

Today instead of playgroup, we went to the aquarium. I love it there.
Oh, and my kid decided that he LOVES grapes. Seriously it’s like baby crack for him. I haven’t been able to get him to eat them ever. Yesterday, we were in the kitchen and I was making lunch he was doing the circle 8 much like a cat and whining. I asked him if he wanted a grape and he said yes, took it and ate it. The look of revelation on his face was fantastic. Then he asked for more. He’s eaten over half the grapes that I have bought. They are damn tasty.
He also decided yesterday that he likes apples. Again something I could never get him to try. He asked me for an apple, I gave him one and he ate it up. I gave him some more today and he ate the hell out of it. The enigma that is my son.

We went to a Day Out With Thomas up in Squamish. The one thing that made me feel comfortable is my parenting ability is to see other parents. I’ve come to some conclusions. I think a lot of the time we expect too much from our kids. We want them to behave no matter what, share with complete strangers, be happy all the time, and do what we want - no questions asked. I saw kids that were way over stimulated, tired, probably hungry, excited and trying to deal with it all. I also saw the parents of those kids get embarrassed when their kid broke down, acted out or didn’t share. What’s the big freakin’ deal with sharing? It’s not natural. I don’t expect my kid to share. He hasn’t figured it out yet, or if he has, he’s not interested. I don’t put him in situations where I would continuely sound like a broken record saying, “share ... share .... share ... no honey, you need to share ...” I figure as long as no one hits anyone else or bites or is otherwise abusive, they can figure it our for themselves. I am a big proponent of the distract and re deploy. That works often, but sometimes, they just need to figure it out. Hopefully I don’t damage my kid or turn him into a bully with this course of action.

We went camping at the beginning of the month and I tell you, it’s just getting better and better. I remember the first trip. Baby bottles, baby food, extra this and extra that. Now it was bring a few extra snacks and a few extra changes of clothes and we’re off. We got to the site and began the set up. We had the tent up and I was preparing the cooking area when m son came over to say hi. He was sooooo grubby. It was like he had a dirt bath. We hadn’t been there 2 hours. I took some pictures but most of them are blurry because I was laughing so hard. My kid really loves camping. There are bugs and dirt and cool things to poke and he digs the campfire. We are going to Tofino in July and I am really looking forward to it. I am also going to get my ass back in the water. I think I am going to bust out the wet suit, hopefully it still fits and do some body boarding, No concussion this time! I like Eric Lindros now. A strong wind and I am done for and scrambled.

Elmo is still really big in our house and Trains are becoming a close second.

Crusing into summer.

2009-05-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

We bought a fancy new ride. For most people that would be something that requires gasoline, but for us, it’s shiny, burgundy, and has 21 speeds. I bought a bicycle with my bonus from work. It wasn’t huge to begin with and after Steve got his cut, it was significantly smaller. Now me and my little dude “ride bikes” when ever the opportunity presents itself. I ask him if he wants to ride bikes and no matter what he is doing he drops everything and yells YEA!!! and runs to the door.

It’s good because it gets my fat ass (which is not as fat as it was a month ago) out of the door and doing something fun. We even bring his Sweet Pea so we have tunes as we cruise. It’s no motorcycle, god do I miss my motorcycle, but I am enjoying the heck out of it none the less.

I am so looking forward to this summer. I’m still working and I work 2 days from home, but I try to split it up so that I can get out for a few hours in the morning so we can go do something fun. So far it’s working and I don’t mind working at night. It’s nice actually. I get more done in a couple hours at home than I do in the office.

I was in the art store buying a birthday present for my niece. My mom tells me she is creative, so I got her a set of water colours, a started brush set and a thick rag paper to start her out. I hope she likes it. While we were there we passed a display or very accurate looking animal figurines. Little did I know how accurate. My son decided that he really liked a horse. I saw no harm in him playing with it. It wasn’t tiny, no choking hazard, no small parts ... Well when he was playing with it later on when we got home I realized how anatomically correct this horse was. It was a boy horse because when my son showed me the horse’s tummy, there was a huge pair of balls and a penis. Not porno penis or anything, but it surprised me. I said out loud, “Oh, this is a boy horse.” My son now calls him Archie. Great my kid plays with an anatomically correct horse figurine named Archie. What will the kids at Play Gym say. Ha!

More tips on completely inappropriate parenting

2009-04-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

I think it's funny when my kid says poo poo. I even ask him to say it and then I crack up. It's not what he is saying, but how he says it. It's like a little french munchkin speaking with gusto He throws a 'b' in there so it sounds like bew bew, but with a lilt and his crazy toddler accent.
Lately he is cracking me up a lot. From his fantastic dance moves, which consist of spinning until he falls down and laughs when he staggers, to running like a maniac around the apartment doing extremely important things, like wearing my shoes and hiding my keys.

I have given up on a lot and I feel much better for it. If he eats something ... anything ... then I don't think he is going to die. I've found ways to get him to eat more. It's like he became picky overnight. My eat anything and everything in front of him son, became a no thanks, I'll just have a raisin weirdo. So now he eats bread, and waffles, and sweet potato fries and yes ... Cheese Whiz. It's a god send really. I made him whole wheat pasta, adulterated it with some cooked ground beef and mixed in some Cheese Whiz. He loved it. He ate it, and lately that's more than he usually does. So in order to get the pasta and beef into him, if I have to use a little Cheese Whiz, so be it.

We went to Play Gym on Friday. He loves it there. I like it because there are tons of kids and tons of things to play with. I also don't like it, because there are so many kids. Some people have really badly behaved kids. Terror screaming, completely miserable kids. Maybe they were having an off day, but I felt really bad for some of the nannies there. There was a kicker, a biter and of course, a stealer. My kid wouldn't get out of his little roller car thingy so he was all good, but the toddler drama that unfolded was seriously daytime soap opera caliber.

I was talking to a girlfriend today and she said something to me that really touched me. She is a doula. She said she wished she had've known what she does now when we first had our babies. She said she could have helped and supported me through the dark days. That meant a lot to me and it got me thinking.
It's no secret that the better part of the first year of my son's life was a total train wreck. I was alone and had no idea, absolutely no frigging idea what to do with this baby. I longed for someone to tell me 2 things in earnest. 1 - tell me what to do. 2 - tell me it's going to be ok, but somehow make me believe it. Oh good god, make me believe it.
That never happened for me, but with the help of my husband, I managed to pull it together and pull through.
But what if I had what generations before me had? A network of women, (aunts, moms, cousins, sisters) that could have helped me. They could have helped me figure out all the breastfeeding problems I had and maybe could have helped me nurse him. Maybe they would have substantiated my feelings about being a new mother and helped me adjust. Who knows. I do know that I have a very different feeling, almost reverence for a new mother.

So I gave up on the diaper bag. I bought the replacement and I never liked it from the beginning. It didn't close properly, it was bulky and just didn't seem right. I took the advice of a friend and I bought the POD from MEC. So far, so good. I just pop my wallet and extras in the from pocket, and all his crap is in the bigger second pocket. I can cram a lot in that second pocket. Diapers, change pad, wipes, snacks, drink cup, kleenex (allergy season ... fucking trees!), and the kit. The kit consists of things that you don't normally need, but when you do, you really need them. Teething stuff, tylenol, emergency maxi-pad, spoon, hand sanitizer, lip balm ...

Today was the first nice day in forever. I am excited for the warmer days. I can't wait to hit New Brighton. Hopefully he still likes water. We didn't go swimming over the winter. I felt too fat and it was generally miserable weather. I don't feel as fat, I'm a work in progress, and the weather is getting better so we will once again become pool patrons. Hopefully he doesn't freak out and go puddle on me. The toddler puddle. A phrase I heard from friend and I thought it was perfect.

Tomorrow, the family run. Only a few more weeks until we all participate in the Sun Run. Me and my husband running, my son being spirited along in his chariot. Hopefully he dozes a bit. I have a feeling 10k may take a while to complete.

Bus Nemisis

2009-03-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

It appears the hootchy cootchy highschool girl is no longer taking the bus. Or perhaps we are just not crossing paths right now. Thank goodness. I was beaten up by her handbag long enough. I hope she has found some warmer and larger clothing. I'm afraid her butt crack will get chapped from exposure to the elements.

Now instead I am regularily doing battle with Bus Nemisis.
Bus Nemisis is a mid-forties blond somewhat skinny lady. Why is she my nemisis. It all boil down to bus ettiquite.

She always cuts to the front of the line even if she is the last one to get to the bus stop. Once when the bus was super packed, I made it impossible for her to get in front of me and as I was waiting for the bus driver to tell me if is was ok if I got on, she tried to push by me. I put out my arm and said excuse me, I'm next in line. She gave me shitty stink eye for sure.
She's a seat junky too. I've seen her not give up her seat for someone who could have obviously used it. She just clicked her gum and buried her nose further in the morning issue of 24 Hours pretending she didn't notice.

Having to bring a stoller on the bus everyday, I have become quite vocal with people. I started out very polite saying excuse me and pardon me. But since I have had a never ending string of dirty looks when I get on the bus with the stoller and people decide that they are not going to move, I now tell people what they are going to do. And if they don't understand I signal it out for them.

For example when I got on the bus today with the stroller, everyone looked at me, but noone moved so I could safely park the stroller out of the way. I saw this going on and said you and you, need to move ... no movement. Now! You need to move now. I need to put the stoller where you are sitting. MOVE! eventually people move.

Getting off can sometimes be a pure delight too. There are those idiots that love to stand right close to the front door and give me looks of shock and wonderment when I tell them I need to get by. Today as I was getting off, a lady wouldn't move so I could get by. I said you need to move so we can get off. She tried to shrink herself closer to the side. I said, No, move that way ... now ... we need to get off. So I think I will have much more success if instead of allowing people to make decisions on where they should be when I am getting on and off with the stroller, I should just tell them. If they say no, it's grounds for a fight.

Anyway, back to nemisis. I am trying to get in her way and make her follow the unwritten code of bus riding. So I stand in front and purposefully make sure that whenever possible she follows the line and doesn't bust out to the front. I think I dislike her on the bus because she is not a very nice rider. She's much sooner take the grandma's seat than help her in to it and to me that is pretty low class indeed.

Working Life

2009-03-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

I returned to work back in November with some hesitation. In fact I was completely ready to turn my back on the career that I had built and the work that I did. I knew in my heart that I did not want to work full time. I couldn’t talk myself into being ok with knowing that someone other than me or his dad were with my son for most of his waking hours. I knew that while we really couldn’t afford me not working, we also couldn’t afford the cost to our family if both of us worked full time.

I went to a meeting with my new boss feeling very mixed. I knew what I was willing to do, but I wasn’t so sure that he would go for it. He had all these great ideas and proposed that I take on some new work too. Very tempting and got my interest going. In the end we came to an agreement that was made possible because I use to work like a dog and I had tons of unused vacation.

I would come back to work 3 days a week and use up my vacation time to cover off the other 2 days. I thought it was a good use of the time. I was saving it for something so this seemed a pretty good something.

I thought it was kind of weird to get me back into the office for a few months but I thought I’d give it a try, maybe something else would work out. I do want a have my own bakery one day. I’ve learnt that you never know until you try.

I have been working like this and so far it’s been great. I am fully 100% dedicated to work when I am there. It’s 3 days a weeks so I can manage other appointments and commitments when I am not in the office. The biggest benefit by far is being able to be with my son. I feel like we still have our special time together and I get to watch him grow.

I also knew it was coming to an end, so a few days ago I asked my boss what was up. Should I pack a box, or should I make long term plans and get some projects on the go?
We had talked previously about the possibility of me staying on but working from home in some capacity. It was a log shot, but it might be possible.

Well it turns out that it’s totally possible and that’s what I am going to do. I won’t get into details, because I’ve blathered on long enough in such a serious tone, but really this is freakin’ awesome! I know I’m going to have to keep working my bum off, but it’s so worth it to me that I think I will be a-ok.

Showdown at the Slide

2009-03-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

As a result of shopping for a new diaper bag, we missed our regular Friday outing at Clownfish Cove followed up by endless running in the underwater beluga viewing area. I knew that by the time we got across town that we would not have enough time to have some good fun without being hurried. So instead I opted for the play area at Brentwood Mall. Usually it’s an ok place to go. When we got there however it was absolute mayhem. I also noticed there were alot of older kids in there at the time. I would even say some were too old to be playing there.

So we went and got some fruit in hopes that some of the crazies would leave by the time we got there. It was a little better but not much. I thought what the hell, and I set my child free to roam amidst the chaos. He ended up having a great time I played interference for most of the time so he didn’t get bowled over every 15 seconds.
My little one has decided he likes the slide. It’s relatively new with him and he gets really excited which is completely funny to watch. He was climbing up the stairs slowly getting to the top, exclaiming with glee and then hurtling down the slide. He managed a few goes without incident. Kids were brushing by him because he was pretty slow and sometimes he changed his mind and came back down.

Then the little bastard showed up.

A little boy decided that he was going to blow by and go down the slide. This boy was too old to be playing here. Little Bastard (or LB for short) runs past my 1 year old and pushes him down the stairs. It took every bit of will power I had not to throttle the kid. I am totally accepting of mistakes, but this kid looked at my kid and then pushed him down the stairs.

After I got my guy and made sure he was ok, I found LB grabbed him by the arm because he kept trying to run away. I told him that he can’t push people out of the way when he wants to. He wouldn’t even look at me so I asked him where his mom was. He wouldn’t say anything. At the risk of looking like a child abuser, I let him go but kept on the lookout for the little prick.
Another mom came up to me and said that he was too old to be here and he was bullying other kids.

As we were talking, he went back up the slide and decided that no one else was allowed to use it. A little girl started to cry and her mom went over to investigate. LB said he didn’t like the little girl, so she couldn’t use the slide. Her mom said I’ve had it with you. You are being mean to the other kids and it’s time for you to go. She picked him up and started yelling who is his mom?

Finally a woman came up and said she was his mom. The other mom told her her kid was being a bully and he was too old to play there and that they should leave. LB’s mom said she didn’t see anything wrong. That’s when I piped up and said Oh really, well you must not be watching because he pushed my 1 year old down the stairs. Another mom said he’s being mean and it’s time for you to go. They finally left. We stayed for a while longer and then called it quits and went home. I’m sure that’s the first of a long string of LB’s that we’ll meet.

Death of a Diaper Bag

2009-02-28T22:48:00.000-08:00

The first thing I bought when I found out I was pregnant was a diaper bag. I am pretty particular about handbags and I am approaching obsessed when it comes to wallets.

I found this absolutely beautiful bag. Nothing like Willy Lowman. It was a green tea coloured
brocade. It was a shoulder bag that could convert to a back pack. Perfectly splendid. Not only was the bag gorgeous, but it held tons. I could jam pack it full. Diapers, wipes, snacks, toys, bottle, sippy, mini cooler bag ... you name it, I could jam it in there. I didn’t use the back pack straps too often, but when I did, it was very handy.

This is something that would have never ended up on my shelf of baby purgatory. The place where not very useful baby gear goes to die.

So what happened? Did the bag get stolen, break, explode or morf into a creature that ran away. No nothing that fancy. Some milk was spilled in it and left for about a week so by the time I found it, the bag completely reeked and there was mold growing in it and on the change pad. I tried to spot wash ... no go. Some Oxy and soaking in the tub didn’t touch the foul stench. I was getting desperate. I needed the bag for the next day as we had an outing and I definitely needed my supplies.

I tossed the bag into the washing machine on gentle ... twice. The smell was almost gone but the damage was done. The bag had started to disintegrate from the inside lining.
I slit part of the liner because I thought the little chunks I was seeing was more mold, but it was cardboard. Total bummer.

I think I want to have some kind of memorial service for this bag I liked it so much. I’ve stuck with it for over a year and that is saying something. For those that have the slightest insight into my wallet obsession you know that the search will never end and I will always keep looking for the elusive perfect wallet. Handbags are a close second. Shoes don’t even enter the picture.

In fact most of my shoes come from places where the elderly shop. I believe in comfortable footwear and have no qualms sacrificing trend or fashion for my feet. Where someone will drop $400 on some stilettos that you can only manage to keep on for a half an hour. I would easy pay that for a pair of high quality leather walking shoes. Perhaps my feet are geriatric and I don’t even know it. All I do know is that the feet must be comfy or I don’t go anywhere. Ahh I did it again, off on a tangent. Back to the subject at hand, the demise of my diaper bag.

I decided to play safe and purchase a new bag. Little did I know how difficult this would be. You’d think I was picking out a new husband as part of an arranged marriage for cripes sakes. I scrutinized every detail. Pockets, material, colour, comfort, space. All paled in comparison to what I had had. I chose this new bag by JJ Cole called (oh god are they for real) The System. It had all kinds of crap and cool flap in the front and places for mom stuff and even a place to put an MP3 player or iPod but they cant say iPod, so they say MP3, but they mean iPod. It was over $100 with tax. I bought it. I got to the car, decided I couldn’t justify the cost. I mean really would I ever ... ever be able to listen to my iPod while being with my son. Seriously people. The System is cool, but obviously not designed by parents or if they are parents, then they have robo-babies that listen at the drop of the hat. Definitely nothing like my anti-authoritarian toddler. I swear sometimes I think he is plotting an uprising and the main demand will be cheese.

I decide while I am sitting in the parking lot of the store that I can’t justify the cost of the bag and take it back in and swap it for something $35 cheaper.I have a new bag. I don’t like it as much and I miss my old one. This one, while nice ... it’s just not the same. It’s like using light cream cheese to make cheese cake. It’s ok, but it’s just not as good. It’s not as big, but I figured I really don’t need all the room anymore. No more bottles or jars of food. Just a sippy and a few snacks, a toy or 2 and some diaper stuff. It will probably do just fine, but I will miss the old bag terribly. I may even seek a new old bag out if I can find one cheap enough. We’ll see. But who ever thought that I could rant on about a diaper bag this long? Pretty impressive.

Run Run Away

2009-02-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was week 3. I have once again joined the Sun Run InTraining program. I did a few times a couple of years ago. I thought it was great. I got to meet people and stayed motivated. I use to take the program through the False Creek Community Centre. This time coming back post baby, I decided to go somewhere else. It was a two fold reason. I wanted to do an evening clinic so that I still had the weekend with my family. I also couldn't stand the idea of going back to Paul.
Now let me preface this with a bit of info about Paul. Paul is the co-ordinator of the clinic. He took over the last year I was there and he drove me nuts. He's a great guy and a success story. He was a rotund dude to start out with and joined the clinic one year and a weight loss program on top of that. He lost a bunch of pounds and finished the Sun Run. What bugs me about that clinic the last time I did it, was a pretty casual approach to running was turned into something resembling a 6th grade class. I kid you not, after a lecture on nutrition once, he instructed everyone to clap. We're dealing with full grown adults here on a Saturday morning on their own time. I'm sure the last thing they want is to be told to friggin' clap.
There were may other petty things too, but in the end I decided not to go back to False Creek in the event I pull out Super Bitch on Paul.

So I joined the RoundHouse Community Centre clinic. For the most part it's ok except there are nothing but very fit, yoga gear wearing, best friends going to this clinic. The first night I felt like a sausage in running clothing. While the mental picture is funny, I can assure you I was painfully self conscious. There are 2 or 3 sub 45 groups in this clinic. I am in the second to last group because my goal is to finish in about an hour. Seriously I feel like I am running among, or rather behind, the Yaletown elite.

We'll see how it goes. I am bound and determined not to give up because chubby, uncoordinated, non-glitzy mommy from east-side picked this clinic, so now she'll stay with it. Weird, I'm talking in third person.

Back dated post and weird display going on, but the pizza while cold, was still delicious

2009-01-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Update on bus haggalina.
I am guessing that she is a highschool student for sure now. She was absent
from the bus during the school break and she looks way too Confessions of an
American teenager to be in post secondary school.

She was wearing pants today!! Well, jeans, and the crack of her ass was very
visible due to her low rider pants and halfsie jacket. Those things crack me
up. A huge fake fur lined hood yet the jacket barely covers the boobs. Aw
well what do I know about fashion. I think jeans rolled up showing colourful
stripy socks and Daytons look great.

Bus rant - It's your prerogative if you want to roll out of bed and roll
into your clothes and make your way bleary eyed to the bus, but please for
the love of all that is good, holy, and half decent in this world, please
brush your teeth. I am so tired of being stuck by guy who smells like he had
a dragon shit breakfast. Just a little mouthwash if you don't have the time,
or cripes even gum!!! Just stop the stank!!

This rain soaked, web footed island girl is really missing the usual
December weather. I am so sick of all of this snow. It's not going away, the
city is relying on the wait and melt method. I fell into a snow bank getting
off of the bus today. Saturday, I took the bus to go get groceries because I
thought driving was a bad idea. What would be a hour or so, turned into an
epic 4 hour event. True I did leave Safeway because their veggies and fruit
were total bullshit. The last 2 times I have been there it has been really
bad. Empty shelves, apathetic stock people, cashiers who can't stop talking
to each other and then make multiple mistakes on my order. The last time I
was there they didn't have milk or eggs. They didn't have a sign on the
front door either. Nope I had to go in and discover it for myself. I think
if you are out of staples like that, you might want to let people know.

If it's not the economic crisis laying people off, downsizing, offshoring
and adding extra charges, it's the snow trying to make my days more trying.
Last night we ordered pizza and we asked the delivery guy about the charges.
There is a 1$ fuel surcharge and a 1.50$ delivery charge. Apparently the
delivery guy doesn't get the fuel surcharge and I think he gets .50 of the
delivery charge. LAME. It's a total cash grab by Panago if you ask me. Why
are they charging for fuel? PS the fuel prices have gone done. And a
delivery charge that the delivery guy doesn't get?? Total low class. We gave
the guy a $5 tip on top of everything even though our pizza was an hour
late. There was a blizzard last night and we were surprised the pizza even
showed up.

Snow, family, snow

2009-01-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone. What the hell is up with the snow!! I feel bad for all the people who are afraid to leave their homes and walk anywhere for fear they will break their ass.

Christmas this year was really special for me. I got to watch my boy enjoy himself and be with his family that he never sees. It was a harrowing experience, but well worth it. Originally, the plan had been that my husband and son would drive up to PH on the 22nd and I would fly up on the 24th. Well that all changed as we watched the snow pile up on the 21st and looked at the forecast for the next few days. It was suppose to dump. So I let work know that my travel plans had changed, canceled my flight (but did manage to get a bit of a credit), packed and went with the family by car. The thought of missing Christmas with my family was heart breaking.

It took about 10 hours to get up there. The roads pretty much sucked the whole way. Kingsway was blanketed in snow and we saw the #25 bus jack-knife on King Ed, and that was just the first 5 minutes of our trip.

We got to the inlaws and set up camp. It was great to see them. A very full house! They always make me feel so welcome. My son took to roaring around immediately and he spice cupboard soon became his favourite place to disassemble. He started walking right before we left so he was toddling quite well and getting into all kinds of things, it was great.

We stayed there until the 24th and then we packed up and went to my parents. They were up for the holiday from Yuma and my dad was showing off his new teeth. He got a full set of caps/crowns/veneers ...what ever you call them. It was great to see my parents and my sister and her daughters. I miss all of them and always think visits are too short.

Christmas came and so did Santa. So did more snow. We stayed in PH until the 27th but with the weather we didn't get around much. Our hatchback with questionable tires made for not a lot of driving. The car did a lot of sitting and looking out of place in the snow.

Now we are back home. I have to admit that I fell asleep before midnight on New Year's Eve. My husband stayed up and when midnight came he woke me up and gave me a kiss. I have to say that it was quite nice although I'm sure what ever I said, I sounded like a moron.

The Bag Haggaleena on the bus.

2008-12-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

I catch the bus in the morning on the way to work.
Most often there is a inappropriately dressed girl waiting at the stop too. Last week as I was practically shivering in my winter coat waiting, (and lets remember I have an additional insulating layer as well that I hope decreases now that I am on the diet) she was wearing teeny tiny jean shorts accessorized with a sequin belt, a tank top of sorts and little midrift hoodie. But I imagine the 2010 monolith size bag she was carrying may have had a generator in it connected to a heater. Or perhaps she had her clothes closet stored away in there. Seriously this thing is huge! It’s like an oversized gym bag that she is using as her little clutch. It wouldn’t be so bad and I wouldn’t care, but she always seems to find herself standing next to me and her luggage repeatedly bashes into me for the duration of the trip. I’ve even tried moving away as much as I can, but it seems that only allows her more room to spread out. One day I am going to crack and yell a spew of obscenities at her. It’s coming. How much of an idiot do you have to be, to realize that on a packed bus, you remove your bag from your back or shoulder and hold it in front of you to lessen the chance that you take someone out when you turn around.

I am making my son a plush action figure for Christmas. It is beginning to look like a blind person with no fingers sewed it together, but I am hoping because he is 1, he’ll be a little forgiving. I got the idea from Martha. It will be the only idea I will probably ever use of hers. She made it sound so easy. There are even step by step pictures that go along with the directions. It looks so charming and cute in the pictures, but mine looks like it went through a few pit bulls. What was also suppose to take a couple of hours .... I think I am on day 2 or 3 now. I’ll post a pictures when I get brave enough to take them.

We are trying very hard to not, not, not go malling for Christmas. We are trying to make gifts and most of our family will have a made gift or components of it that are made. Suffice to say we are super busy every weekend until Christmas crafting away.

We had to go to the den of consumer evil aka Metrotown on Saturday. Ugh. I am doing a project and it required some Japanese tea cups. The perfect place to get them was this little shop in the belly of the beast. I think we lasted an hour before we started to feel snakey and needed to go. It was like battling a horde of blind people with sticks. Looking in front of you, all you can is bobbly headed people totally not paying attention of what is 2 feet in front of them. I was amazed at the amount of people and how much plastic cheer has barfed itself into the mall. The little guy loved all the lights and shiny bobbles. But the people and 40 different kinds of music blaring from all angles started to get to him after about a half and hour, so we cut our losses and got the heck out of there.

As usual my timing of things is absolutely perfect and I have decided that it’s time for a few pounds to leave me.
Probably not setting myself up for success here. I can’t see myself not being tempted by my mother’s butter tarts. Good god they are delicious! The Christmas season is not a good time to decide to eat better. We’ll see what happens. I’ve started going to aerobics and spinning too. I am not graceful. However I am not slow motion lady going the wrong direction. She wears hot pick and a headband and is a source of entertainment for me as I bounce around. It’s the turning moves that get me. And the moves where your hands go in a different direction than your legs. I end up totally spazzing out. I went to a class with a friend once and she went on a grapevine strike and refused to grapevine for the rest of the class ... True story.
I like the spinning class more, but it’s really hard on the ass. It is a great workout though and my joints don’t ache afterwards which is always nice.

Speaking of the Holidays ..burn the malls and turn off the TV

2008-11-26T21:27:00.001-08:00

Here is my latest rant. They couldn't even wait until Remembrance Day was over. Actually I was seeing Christmas stuff and Halloween stuff up in tandem. Bloody Hell. The malls were putting up the decorations and Roger's started their fucking cell phone for Christmas campaigns. Oh and let's not forget the Best Buy BS and a personal fav cars. For cripes sake even furniture stores are having Christmas sales.
I am hoping to avoid the mall at all costs lest I shove a gift basket down an overly touchy and fake helpful sales person.
Seriously that shit gets me. If I want your help, I'll bloody ask for it, leave me alone. And no I don't want 3 for 1, or a gift basket, I'm not trying to rip you off, and turn down the music!! It turns into this orgy of purchasing for the sake of buying stuff. All of a sudden your worth and how much you care for someone is based on how many gifts you get someone and how much it cost. People go shopping not because they want to or they even have an idea of something meaningful to get for someone, nope, it's because they feel obligated.

Thus the birth if the BodyShop gift set. It's nice but not really personal or thought out for the most part. And the gift for the person who has everything??? How about some homemade cookies, or a nice bottle of wine, or some other tasty treat that they could share.

I'd love it if people thought the focus was on food, family and fun. I'm not sure it will ever be that, but it would be nice.
Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. I love the carols, heck I even love fruit cake (with a healthy measure of butter of course).
I hate the selling machine that has become Christmas. If you really boil it down, it's a christian holiday celebrating the birth of the saviour Jesus Christ. It's not a holiday tree, it's a Christmas tree, it's not X-mas, it's Christmas. To say that calling it Christmas is to the exclusion of others is exactly correct. It's a christian holiday that has been bastardized for the sake of getting more people to buy more stuff.
You don't see people trying to change Hanuka to the 9 days of giving as many gifts as you can until you've maxed out your credit card. But really I have little insight into Hanuka because I am not Jewish.
Oh well, I am going to put up my Christmas tree, sing Silent Night, eat too many goodies, give away my dorky homemade gifts. I may even crack open the good book and re-read where this whole thing came from. I truly am going to avoid the mall at all costs, it just pisses me off.

Happy Holidays ... I want more ink.

2008-11-26T21:02:00.000-08:00

I am so excited for Christmas. Let me say that again ... I am so excited for Christmas!! I feel like last year I was such a disaster that I was a shell of my former self. New baby, no idea what to do with the new baby and a body in complete revolt. My back hurt constantly, all the time. I remember going to sleep with one of those stick-on heat packs on my lower back to try and make the throbbing stop.
We were going to spend Christmas on our own, but it was just too depressing and there was family right across the water in Parksville, so we went over there. It was really nice to be around family, but at the same time, I wanted to run away at times and just take my baby and go somewhere quiet.
This year will be quite different. I've given up all hope on trying to figure out what to do when it comes to babies. I find I have become the student. My son has taught me so much, most of which is to try and relax and let things work themselves out. We are making the journey all the way up island where all of our parents live. I am working until the bitter end and then flying up to join my husband and baby. That part stinks, but it will be so great to see the family. I miss them all.
My little guy should be a going concern as well. I think he will probably be walking on his own by then, so no decoration, cupboard, or pet will be safe from his grubby little digits. I am looking forward to hearing my mom call him a scamp because he has gotten into something else that he shouldn't have, yet again.

He is sooo close to just letting go and taking off. He has many versions or methods of mobility. He crawls, does the tripod shuffle thing, uses anything as leverage and propels himself around by pushing things. He will crawl up and on all kinds of things. He's like a little goat. He wants to get to the top of what ever it is.

Since going back to work he is in the care of a nanny 3 days a week and so far it seems to be working out well. Her daughter a few months older than my guy is there and they get along quite well. I still don't like leaving him and I am so glad when I see him in the evening.
I have mixed feelings about being back at work. I like it because I get to work again and I really do enjoy it, but I don't like not being with my baby. Hopefully it gets easier.

I few people that I know have recently added to or had completely new tattoos done. I am very envious. I look at the space on my arm and realize it is calling out to be decorated. I want to take what I already have and turn it into a 3/4 sleeve. More flowers! (say it like you would more cowbell). I am thinking it is something I should do for my birthday or that time frame anyway. We'll see what happens. I need to find an artist who is good at flowers.

Back to work?

2008-09-23T21:12:00.001-07:00

It's been coming for a while now. The end of mat leave as I know it. It's been the hardest year of my life and I wouldn't change a thing. Well, I may have changed the 3rd degree tearing and the 6 months to heal from it and a few other things that happened at the beginning, but other than that I am so grateful to have my little guy. I really feel he is making me a better person.

I went into work today to meet with my manager about the start back date. Ugh.
Now I love the work I do and the job is great. I have no complaints. I just have this other whole little human that I love and want to care for.

Me and my husband talked, debated, worked figures and looked at it from all angles. The long and short of it is we don't want someone else taking care of our boy for most of his waking hours. If we both work 40 + hour weeks, that means someone else will be bringing up our boy. I know a lot of people don't necessarily feel that way about day care, but we thought hard about it and we do.

We came to the conclusion that I should work, but no more than 3 days away from home a week.

I think our little one being away from us for a few days a week may be good for him. He will develop new relationships with other caring adults and he will get playmates. But I think it is a delicate balance. For my family that means me not going back to work full time if at all possible.

I went in to meet my manager and discuss all this stuff. Imagine my surprise when he hits me with a proposal for a new job. It sounds great. I would be helping to define and lead the service and support of a whole line of products. Something I know I would be really good at. Then I hit him with my 75% plan.

He didn't say no. This is where I about fell out of my chair. He's a dad and he knows what it's like. He told me it would be an uphill battle, but he would try to work with me and his bosses to make it happen.

I really hope it works out. I would love to go back and continue working there. I really enjoy it. But if it means giving up my little boy 5 days a week, I'm not sure I can do it. We'll see. I'm not holding my breath, but I do have a glimmer of hope at least.

I saw Neil Diamond. It was freakin' fantastic

2008-09-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

The day began with me and my mom going shopping.

It's what we do. If it was an olympic sport, my mother would be the Michael Phelps of shopping many times over. Seriously.

We braved the insane amount of stupid people and Metrotown and the overly friendly sales people and both found outfits for the evening. I have this love/hate thing with that mall. I love that I can find what I want most times, I hate going there. The amount of stupid people, rude people, clueless people, or groups that feel like they need to walk all together in a fucking line drives me nuts.
I know my husbands personal favourite is the abrupt stop. I hate that one too.

We got back to our place and my husband looked a bit haggered after dealing with Baby-zilla for the afternoon. Seriously this kid has some issues. His little head gets red alot and he yells dit dit dit alot. I am sure he swears like a sailor by the way he looks at me as he's dit, dit, ditting.

We got ready and headed out to one of my favourite places. Monk McQueens. The cab drops us off, and in typical bloody fashion, it's closed! SHIT. I didn't know because they don't take reservations for any less than 8 so I never called.

We ended up going to this tiny little place on the corner.

It was really nice. It was small and quiet and at the time, not very busy. We had a great meal, too much wine and some nice cheese to top it off.

The show was a hit. I had a huge grin on my face the whole time and sang along to everything. The man is an entertainer. I liked it because he wasn't trying to be anything, stand for anything or have any sort of deep message. It was just fun. I felt bad for a millisecond for the people in front and beside me. I had pretty much lost my voice half way in from singing, well sing yelling. But it was so much fun I couldn't stop.

Truth be told my little boy likes the Diamond one too. We put on Neils greatest hits and he started to bounce and dance. Yep he's my kid alright. He likes to push buttons on gadgets and likes Neil Diamond. Feels good.

Been too Long

2008-09-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

This last month has just flown by. So much has happened. I took my son to visit family for a couple of weeks. It was our first trip away for so long. My husband was sad we were going, but happy for us at the same time. My reasoning for going was that I don't know the next time that I will be able to go away for a couple weeks and basically not impact anything financially or work-wise. So I packed us up and headed off.
Part of our trip was a boat trip up to one of the inlets where my parents grew up. Smith Inlet. My dad is a part owner of an Ecotourism lodge up there. It's called Great Bear nature tours. It's focus is grizzly bears. The trip was fun and at times trying.
My little guy was teething like a mad man. He was really working on #6 his eye tooth. Overall though he was a champ. It was about a 4 hour ride by boat and bucking the tide. When we got out in to open water the swell was quite big. It wasn't rough at all. The perfect condition for me to get sea sick in. I can handle really rough stuff and being thrown around no problem. If there are just those huge roller, I get really green.
My boy loved the trip. He babbled away to his Papa and kept his Nana entertained while I looked for crackers and ginger ale.
While we were at the lodge we enjoyed going to watch the grizzlys, looking out for the cougar that was hanging around, watching the fish come up the river (the reason why the griz are
there), and having a lovely time in general.

We were all in a roomy 5th wheel and we came up with many different configurations for nap time and bed time. There was a particularly tough night with a long tantrum and not falling asleep until past 10, but other than that he rolled it all and kept himself busy trying to catch the dog.
The last few weeks have been hot ones. I know everyone else is enjoying it, but I am wondering when Satan's inferno (aka our apartment) is going to cool down.
My little guy is full on crawling now and has been for some time. He is also majoring in acrobatics. If he can pull up on it, combat roll it, or just mangle it, he's happy.
Some seriously funny stuff lately is watching him get all red in the face and tantrum because the chair, box, toy etc. he is pushing has hit a wall and won't go anymore. I have to try and not let him see me laugh because I think it will just make him more pissed off.
He's especially fond of getting up on the couch with me or my husband and turning into a drunk monkey on speed hurling himself on the cushions, yelling and bashing without any awareness that we are catching him every 30 sec so he doesn't crash land on his head. I guess this is my strength training program.
As usual naps and sleeping are a trial. One day it's great and predictable. The next I have no idea what is going on. Lately he's taken to waking up at 3, 4, or 5 and screaming his bloody head off until one of us goes in. We calm him, tell him he is ok, and make sure he is dry. As soon as we leave he screams like someone is cutting his leg off.
I've been leaving him to scream after a few visits because there is nothing more I can do. Sometimes he falls back to sleep or sometimes it was like this morning. 2ish hours of on and off crying. I hope he gets through this soon. I'm doing my best to help, but whatever I am doing isn't helping much.
He's also decided that trying to launch himself out of his stroller is good times. So now I have to use the harness. Boo.
Me, I've decided that I am really and truly sick of being fat and need to get my sluggish sleepy self going. I have so many pairs of pants that I really miss.
My little guy's first birthday is coming up and I can hardly believe it! He's almost 1 and my mat leave is almost over. Back to work soon. We're trying to figure out what to do, what we can afford and what quality of life we want. Mother puss buckets it's hard to figure out. I have a feeling the next couple of weeks of decisions are going to define the next few years of our lives.

Thoughts on Essential Baby Crap

2008-08-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

I am by no means an expert on stuff. I have some, my husband would say I have a lot and am a stuff junkie, but I'm trying to get better.

I thought I'd tell you a few of my must haves as a new parent so hopefully you will have a small Baby Shelf of Purgatory. There is soooo much stuff out there. I think most of it could be useful in one way or another depending on the type of parent you are. PS there is a big difference between the parent you think you are going to be and the parent that you will become. I think I thought one thing and my son decided we were going to do something completely different.

1 - Carrier
Holy Moly Batman is there a market for these things. You can get cloth wraps, rigid carriers, slings, packs, front facing, out facing, one piece, two piece, multi piece, add ons etc. I went through a bunch of carriers before I found the best thing my money could buy.

My first carrier was this huge, long piece of cloth that you wrap around yourself and the baby. It's called a cuddly wrap. It was ok while the baby was small, but he grew quickly and it got really hard on the back really quick. Plus it was a pain in the ass to wrap and when I bought it, I didn't realize how bloody hot a new baby is. It's like a heater on you and in the cuddly wrap, he became a heater wrapped up in cloth. We ended up giving it away to some people who thought they could make better use of it than we could. So I rented it for around $70. When I bought it, I really thought it would work though.

Next I bought a Snugli for about $35 and, you get what you pay for. We bought it and took it to the park to try it out. It was ok, but pretty flimsy and I don't think my son was comfortable at all. It looks like a Bjorn knock off.
I've also heard from quite a few people that while a Bjorn is good for a newborn, once the child is over 15 lbs or so, it is killer on you back. For the $130 price tag, I don't think that is good value.

I also tried a sling that was given to me and a thing called a Bean Bag or something like that. All were not great on my back so I couldn't pack him for long or I would pay for it later.

I bought an Ergo Baby carrier at Room for 2 on Commercial Drive. At the time, it was the best deal at just over $100. I wish I had bought this from the beginning. http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/

I can carry my 23+ lb son anywhere. When I got it he still needed to be front carried, but as he grew and got stronger, I put him on my back too. He's up at my level, we can talk and smile and best of all, he's comfortable and so am I. He falls asleep in it regularly, and with all the padding and the low hip strap, his weight is distributed evenly so I don't get sore. You can also use a side carry mode, but I don't use it too often. Seriously this is the best carrier I have seen or used, and it's well worth the money because you can use it until they are 30 + pounds.

2 - Glider/rocker - Get one.
For the first few months you may find it indispensable. We had a fussy little guy and spent hours rocking, walking and bouncing. When we got a glider, things got much, much easier. I sing and rock him all the time and he calms down quickly.

3 - Swing - Get One
We used the swing so that he would calm down and relax for a few minutes so I could have a shower (seriously, he was really fussy in the beginning). After he used it as entertainment and he loved it. I could put him in there and do dishes, prepare food, laundry, you name it. It was a life saver as well when he went through his 5 am wake ups. We'd pop him in the swing and he's go back to sleep for another hour or so.

4 - Stroller - might need one
In the beginning, we just carried him everywhere, but he got heavy, fast. I bought a BOB stroller and I loved it. It gave me so much freedom. I use it often it was well worth the money. It got us out and about for no other reason than to just go for a walk. For a new mom who is close to crazy, the fresh air was great. I bought the rain cover too and we cruised everywhere.

Are we becoming less able to articulate with words?

2008-08-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

Here's my rant. I think it was my husband's first before me. I must admit I am not perfect but I do try to make sure what I write is grammatically correct and no I don't rely on spell check. It's always trying to remove my u's in words. Damn you spell check, I am a Canadian, we use u's more!
Have you noticed the horrible misuse of the word your? I see people writing things using your, when it should be you are or the contracted form YOU'RE. Not YOUR!!!! It really burns me. It's basic grammar, we all had to learn it.
Your is a pronoun. (a form of the possessive case of you used as an attributive adjective): Your jacket is in that closet. I like your idea.

You're is a contraction of you are.

Very different meanings, and I am seeing your used incorrectly everywhere. Magazine articles, other blogs, notes ... even a message by the mailbox in my building. It says, "Smile, your on camera". For cripes sakes!!
I was surfing yesterday and I came across a sweatshirt for sale that says, "Grammar Costs Nothing". Hallelujah!!! There is a movement afoot that is pissed off like me.

It's one thing to text a quick note, or MSN a bunch of letters, its a whole other thing to transfer that lazy ass way of spelling and speaking to venue's that use proper grammatical english.

Some say it's an evolution of our language. I say fuck that!! I never want to use lol in a letter to exclaim joy, but I will and do use it online.

Another one I've seen is for all intesive purposes. Really people, it's for all intents and purposes. I guess some of it is actually funny to see how spoken word gets translated to text, but it still pisses me off.

In saying this, I am not critical of friends of loved ones for anything like this. Yep I'm 2-faced on this one. I just think that the art of grammar is being lost, and it's a beautiful art.

Mammaries in Protest

2008-08-11T11:10:00.001-07:00

It was a breast in, a nurse in, it was an act of female civil disobedience. It was great.
A while back there was a woman who was shopping with her husband and 2 month old daughter. The baby got hungry and as we all know, babies don’t wait. So the woman started to breast feed her baby while her husband shopped.

It was at this point the woman was asked, shuffled, escorted (depends who you ask) to a dressing room. The store’s reason that breastfeeding in public might disturb, or upset their customers.
After, what the woman described as a humiliating experience, she decided to go to the media.
This is where the shit hit the fan, and the breasts came into their own. A group got together and staged a ‘nurse in’ at the store. Women were pissed. And in my opinion, for good reason too.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/08/07/bc-h-m-breastfeeding-protest-vancouver.html

The day of the Madonna and the Whore is over. Let the Mother make her entrance.

I don’t think it was so much that the woman was asked to breast feed in private, I know some women prefer that, but it was how it was done.

In reality it takes all of a few seconds to latch a baby on. So the actual exposure of the naked breast (gasp) is no time at all. Then you see a baby on a breast. I think that is what bothers so many people. They don’t want, have been conditioned against, or otherwise don’t want to remember the original intention for a breast. It’s food.

Instead in our way over-sexualized culture, women push, pull, shove, and squeeze their breasts into what is considered a pleasing shape. Women take drastic measures and get bags of goo or saline shoved into their breasts in hopes to make them more pleasing. Breasts are now meant for sex and for show only. That they actually perform a function that has nothing to do with sex in trying to be erased from our culture. Sex sells, breast feeding and infant some would argue, does not.
So imagine the general public’s dismay at the spectacle of a woman breast feeding her child in the middle of a normal everyday activity.

Here’s what gets me. Most stores have maniquins of ridiculously small sizes. These manaquins, are suppose to represent the female (or male) shape. The female manaquins in the last few years or so have started to sport rock hard nipples. All the clothing you see masterfully draped over these figures leave no doubt that there are nipples underneath. I think it is suppose to tantalize buyers into purchasing the clothes. But really I have no idea, and I always thought it was a little dumb. I see no large boners on the male manaquins so I assume, boners don’t sell.

Now it is all well and fine for stores to showcase their wares on these strange examples of the female figure, (basically breasts with nipples and teeny everything else) but a real woman using her breast for a real purpose has become obscene. WTF? Anyone else see a problem here?

I think women are just sick and tired of being told what they should do with their bodies and where they can do it. The fact that it is ok for a woman to dress barely covering anything and walk around but a woman exposing a breast for seconds in order to feed a child is not ok is not cool. It’s everywhere. Magazine covers, billboards, tv ads and it’s wormed its way into societies subconscious.

So now when a woman was told to pack up her mammaries and go somewhere private, she got right indignant and for a good reason too. The store is showcasing breasts for sale, much like the rest of the advertising world. But these breasts are showcased on the premise that they are for sex and sale only.
Do I think breast feeding woman should walk around boobs out at the ready all the time? No of course not. To each their own though. What I do think is that it really shouldn’t be a big deal when and where a woman feeds her baby.

So a hyper active request was met with a hyper active response. And I say good on ‘em.

Going Home

2008-08-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

I finally got to make a trip home for longer than a couple of days. Man do I miss living on the island. I get over there and it's easier to breathe, think and just be.
This was to be an adventure. I was travelling home but I was flying to get there. In all the flight is about an hour, but taking an infant with you who has never flown before so you have no idea if they will scream or sleep or something in between, I was left with many a mind wandering day dream about how I would be 'that woman'. We all know her. She's that poor haggered, haven't slept in days and her kid wouldn't stop screaming, I felt so sorry for her. I have to tell you, I was terrified of being that woman.
I packed up my tiny bag and his huge bag, diapers, toys, carseat and stroller. By the way Sunshine Kids makes a great carseat bag specifically for traveling. You just pop the car seat in, zip it up and check it. I'm glad I did too. The bag took quite a beating. Here's an example of what I've got.

http://www.babyproofingplus.com/item5979.htm

We got on the plane and my little guy was mesmerized. He wanted to touch everything. The seat belt buckle kept him fully occupied throughout the boarding fiasco. Really how many middle aged men can stick their ass in my face while trying to stow their precious business case which is probably full of porn and self help books anyway. Sigh.
The props (yep props) fired up and I started to get nervous. When would it begin?? The screaming, the flailing the outright terror.
He started laughing. I shit you not. We were taking off, I did notice a few white knuckles and my kid of less than a year thinks it's a hoot and starts laughing and trying to hit the window.
I was absolutely floored. Oh and he decided that once all the hoopla wore out that he was tired and he would nap. Again, completely dumbfounded. I must have looked like an idiot. A happy idiot none the less.
We arrived and after a marathon session of contorting my body in various stretches to get the car seat installed in my parents car, we were off on our week long adventure in the north.

We had a great time, the highlight being the boat trip to the middle of nowhere for a weenie and marshmellow roast where my son again surprised me.

I am loud. I come from loud people. You'd think we were Israeli. Who ever talks loudest wins. Well my sister brought a playpen along so we could corral the little guy on the beach. It was around nap time and he was getting owly. So I rocked him and sang to him and he fell asleep. I put him down and he slumbered though the exclamations of dismay at a spilt beer, 2 burnt marshmellows, my nieces talking across the beach to eachother, and my dad firing up a power saw for more fire wood. My mom says it was the fresh air. I think it was that he'd resigned himself to knowing he was with really loud people and there would be no quiet place to sleep.

Either way, it was amazing. My mom also really enjoyed bath time. She got a kick out of his antics. The week flew by and before I knew it we were back on a place going home. He was again a very well behaved baby on the plane. Someone even commented to me how they didn't even notice there was a baby. Wow, that felt pretty good. I made it through, and I wasn't that woman ... this time.

Baby on the Stairs

2008-08-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yea you think I am going to talk about the trials of having stairs ... well seeming as I live in a one level condo (it does have 2 bathrooms), no this is going to take an interesting turn.

While we were at LongBeach some dear friends of ours had their second baby. Now this woman is truly amazing. Her first birth was around 3 hours. (I should be so lucky)

This baby was not only early (a blessing let me tell you as one who had a turkey that was 9 days late) but took all of an hour to get here.

I heard this, and I was in a state of semi disbelief followed by something that can only be described as mild jealousy. I spent 25 hours and used a variety of methods to coax my little guy into the world, only to be hi-jacked by a twisted head and need some heavy intervention.

Oh well, it all worked out. Anyway back to the story as I know it ...

So my dear girl went into labour, by the time the midwife got there to check her (lingo for fingers in the 'ole la la to see how much it's opening), she was at 7cm. Time to go to hospital. She gets to the stairs, has a contraction, has another one during the way down and by the time she gets to the foot of the stairs and is fumbling to get on her flip flops, the baby's head is poking out.
So the baby was born at the foot of their stairs at home. The little baby girl was perfectly healthy, and I can tell you from personal experience and seeing her about a week after she made an early entry, she is an absolute doll.
Again I get a twinge of envy at how easily this woman births babies. She's pretty fantastic though so such good fortune couldn't happen to a better person.

The Big One - Longbeach

2008-08-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

We had been working up to it, the big one, the multi day camping trip with an infant (queue music of a macabre vein). We made lists, packed everything we thought we'd use and had enough booze to fuel us through the weekend.

I haven't been on this particular trip in years. One year I had no money, the next I had a lovely spot of pneumonia, then I was in Europe, then there was that whole thing where I was pregnant and felt like I had a cattle prod in my crotch. Good times.
Normally this is THE surf trip. I even got a concussion once before. It was me, a board, and the sand bar. I did not win ... nope I barfed about 3 hours later and had salt water coming out of my nose for eons.
This time the trip was full of new challenges. How was I going to keep my 9 month old kid from eating potentially everything in sight and as usual, how the hell was I going to get him to go to sleep? Oh and what was I going to do with him?
As for the sleep thing, I've pretty much given up. If we are not at home and he is winding up to have a bad night, so be it. Sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's good. It usually works itself out.

At first it was frustrating. One of us had to hold him so he didn't roll around on the gravel camp ground. The my husband had a brilliant idea. We turned the hatchback into a playpen.

He could play, roll, and see everyone and he was corralled in a somewhat safe area.

This was my son's first time seeing the beach.

We let him loose. Other than thinking the entire beach was "Fun Dip", things went really well.

He got really dirty, loved every second of it and noone got burnt. We bought one of those SPF baby tents and had him in there after we figured he'd eaten enough sand. I threw some toys and snacks in there and he was happy. He could see people on the beach, but he could hord his toys and snacks away from prying eyes. It was a win/win situation.
We ended up buying him his own sleeping bag from MEC. $33 and it was worth it.

Long Beach is known for the cold and fog that rolls in even on the hottest of days. I'm happy to say that my little guy stayed toasty warm.
My biggest beef was probably our 'neighbours', the idiot family from PoCo. I heard the husband and wife discussing their bucket lists, and she said "fuck on the beach ... oh no, that was you wasn't it ..." He said, "Uh, no!!" Then silence. The kids came back for chips, and things I don't think, will ever be the same for them.

Catch up

2008-08-07T18:45:00.000-07:00

Holy Moley where has the time gone?
Summer is flying by. I'll try to catch up on my posts. As usual, tonnes to say, all of it true, not enough time to say it.

Best Onesie ... Ever

2008-07-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this?? It's absolutely brilliant, and yes, does reveal a bit of my past.

Level 1 human. The charisma kills me, so perfect. Having an AC of 6 is a bit high for an infant, but I'm willing to let it go because whoever thought of this is now my hero.

Truth be told I use to play alot of D&D in my day. Yep it's true. Many nights of slurpee, candy bar, chip fueled, marathons of treasure hunting and monster battling.

A little Rose and the mind starts to wander

2008-07-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

I mean rose-aye (like fonzi would say)
So my dear gorgeous husband is out tonight with the fella's having a spirited game of

Ah the game of strategy and war lording. I'm not sure how much strategy you can play with considering they will all be half cut by the second round. HA! Who am I kidding. Are you aware of our first Prime Minister. Yea dear ole sweet Sir John A., regularly hammered in the house of Commons. I hear rumour that he even was seen on occasion to tip the martini glass in the house. That's probably where we are going wrong these days. Someone really needs to get that tight ass Harper a cocktail or 2, or perhaps a nice hooker. Anyway ... my love is out for the evening. So it's just been me and the boy today.
We went to the aquarium today for a bit. We haven't been for about a month and something really neat happened today. I went to all the places that he usually showed some interest in before and today, he went crazy! We were watching his beloved salmon and I turned to go, and he freaked out in the carrier, started to cry and craned his neck to see the window. I turned back and he was waving at the fish and yelled at them as they swam by. He loves fish. I walked by an huge tank and he majorly protested. We went to see the birds but they were all roosting and nowhere to be found. He was really pissed and kept yelling for me to go back. So cool to see him really start to interact with the world.
Speaking of interact. My guy appears to be a little slower than other kids as far as the physical milestones go. He's super smart and maybe that is why he's not motivated physically. Why move to the toy, when I can pull the blanket and the toy comes to me?? Oh who knows.

Well a few days ago he perfected the GI Joe, or commando crawl as it's known. (picture is not my kid, just an example) Now the little beggar is doing this tri-pod action thing where he is only using one leg and he kicks the other one up in the air. Funny as hell and is he ever fast. In the last day I've have seen him go from a struggle to me panicking and pulling cat food out of his mouth, covering outlets and reorganizing ... everything.
He's going through some major stuff right now, oh and he's getting another tooth. Like 4 isn't enough for the time being. He's decided that he no longer wants his bedtime feeding. Nope instead he wakes up at 4 or 5 famished, we give him a mini bottle and then he goed back to sleep until about 8. I've tried moving his dinner earlier, feeding him in a different space and I am thinking that he is perhaps telling me that he's done with the bed time feed and he'll do the early wakes for the next month or so and then regulate (he kind of did that before). I'm going to watch it for the next week or so. It could be the teeth, or because he's doing so much now he is too tired at night. He literally falls asleep as soon as he is in the rocker. We'll see. He so awesome though, I don't care. I'm really only his guide anyway. I brought him into this world, but his soul chose me. I hope I get him to where he wants to go.
I was in Oakridge the other day escaping the oppressive heat of our condo, or was it the hankering forI'll never tell. Anyway, I bought a drink and when I threw the container away, the bloody garbage can said thank you! Great so I get flipped off by the guy in the pick up, the crazy little asian lady cuts in front of me in line, I get bumped into all the time, and noone (except for one guy) holds the elevator in my building ... but a fucking garbage can tells me thank you!! Oh people the irony is seriously killing me now. We can't be nice to eachother, so we program it into our appliances. Nice. Hasn't anyone been watching BSG? They cylons got majorly pissed.

Another slurp or Rose 2006, sumac ridge. www.sumacridge.com
Nice, reasonable price. Lovely summer wine. Goes nice with the Bocelli that I am listening to this fine evening. I have no idea what he is saying, but he is saying it in such a lovely manner, it doesn't matter.

Did you notice that everything that you buy these days is made in China? For real. Clothing is China, Bangladesh, India, Turkey etc. Very seldom so I see anything made in Canada anymore. I really want to support local or even my country, but it seems that anything local is kitch or trend and therefore out of my price range. Yet I really don't like the idea that something I buy for me or my family to wear was made thanks to someone else's hardship. See my dilemma? I think China made most of the stuff in my house. I once perused a LL Bean catalog supposed pride of the east coast. Everything but 2 items in the entire book were made offshore. I looked at my baby blanket that my son now uses. It was made in the US. Pre free trade. All of my sons blankets come from China except the ones that were made by hand and I bet the wool came from offshore. It's sad to see. I really want to buy goods made in Canada. I do whenever I can.

I got my little guy a toothbrush last week. I put a teeny bit of berry bubble toothpaste on it and gave it to him. He went wild. He loved it. I figure the brushing isn't really important, that will come with time. What's important is that the flouride gets in there. I think it is so we will work on the finer points of brushing at a later date.
The sun has set, my kid is asleep, some Italian guy is singing to me, and I have half a glass of wine to drink ... Happy Friday.

Did I tell you?? We went to see the Baby Whale

2008-06-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

I have always loved the aquarium. I consider the animals that are there to be ambassadors. I know there are alot of people who will disagree, but that's what I think.

Yes they are captive (most are rescue animals), but the trade off to me is worth it. The children I see getting educated about the animals and the environment around them are the best chance for the species has for survival. I hear the questions they have and the delight and amazement in their eyes. There is so much different than picture books and TV to the real thing. The kids aren't being taught that these animals are tricked out circus creatures, but rather they are being told about the animal, it's environment, what it eats, how it's at risk etc.

Anyway (ok off the soap box now) after my baby was born and I had recovered enough to make it out of the house, I went to the aquarium. I was hooked. As my baby looked around, or dozed in his carrier, I wandered and looked at all the fish, listened to the speakers and had a fabulous time. I bought a membership and have paid for it in visits numerous times. We usually go see our aquatic friends once a week. My little guy loves the Scarlet Ibis, the dolphins and the belugas. He regularly will have lunch in the beluga underwater viewing area which he really seems to like.

Quila the female beluga was pregnant and she had her baby last week. My baby had a cold so we were sticking pretty close to home otherwise we probably would have been there when the baby was born.

Instead we went a couple days later. I had no idea if we would be able to see the baby, but I thought we'd go anyway. We were in luck, they were letting small groups of people through. We didn't even have to wait that long. The staff made you check you camera and make sure the flash was off. We went through 2 checkpoints. They also asked that you keep your voices low.

We got in the viewing area and it was fantastic. My guy was getting hungry so I asked if it was ok if I fed him. They said sure and we got to stay extra long which was really nice. We saw the mom and baby swim around. The baby was so tiny, less than 48 hours old. We even got to see the baby nurse. It was well worth the trip and my little guy loved it. I sat him down in front of the window and he got excited and started to shriek. I had to give him his soother so he would quiet down. He really likes whales. And salmon. He always laughs at the salmon when we go to look at them.

Camping, cold, aliens and other neat things

2008-06-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

We survived the weekend fairly intact. My husband and I didn't even argue as much as we usually do when getting ready to go camping. Pre baby, we would rush home from work and pack a ridiculous amount of stuff into the car. We would argue about how long I was taking, how much stuff was packed, how it was packed, why it was packed, if we were going to get out of the city in time, would we have a tent up before dark ... you get the idea. All petty crap.

The only other trip we've done post baby was very poorly organized. Normally I take it upon myself to make sure every detail is taken care of. It's alot. This time, just thinking about it and trying to take care of, and pack for a baby too was too much. I freaked out, and couldn't even complete a list. This time I knew we were going for longer, so I delegated. I gave my husband a bunch of stuff to do. I told him that I was not going to check up, or even think about what I gave him to do. You know what? It worked better. He took some of the load off of me so I could get the baby stuff done and decide on food to bring. It was really hard for me to give that up, but I knew there was no way I could do it all myself. Super!! Life lesson ... everyone say awe isn't that sweet. We even ended up arguing less. If we argued at all really, I can't remember.

We set up camp and wondered how the rest of the night would go. Last time we had it so easy. I'm sorry to say that everyone in the campsite knows the sound of my baby's cry. He was fighting the sleep and let everyone know it.

The next day was full of campsite adventure. Walks, playing in dirt, and a glorious nap. My husband was the first to go and when my little guy started to get tired, I put him down, and I thought I'd lay down too for a while. My son, the non-napper, ended up sleeping for about 2 hours!! Holy Heckin Moley!! He woke up once, looked over at me, his eyes fluttered and he fell back to sleep.
We had a bit of trouble keeping the baby warm at night. The first night I tucked him into my sleeping bag with me and we slumbered away, the next night my husband kept him warm. We need to work on that for our next trip which is sure to get chilly at night too. So far we have him in a onsie, sleeper, sleep sac and the bundle me. I'm fairly sure when the weather gets warmer, we'll be fine.

Over all good times had by all. I was amazed at the babies as they all slept while the parents laughed joked and had a well deserved cocktail by the fire. When these kids get older, it's going to get alot more fun!

So if you like camping, and have a baby but are not sure if camping is a good idea, all I can say is give it a try. So far, we're having a good time.

Camping Anyone?

2008-06-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

We are making a break from the city this week and going up into the wilds to sleep in a tent and cook over a fire. Woo Hoo. Pre-baby camping was one of our favourite things to do. Just this simple act of sitting by a fire and completely vegging out with a glass of wine in hand was heaven.

Now with a baby, it's a bit of a different story. I thought if my mom did it through 3 babies, I certainly could handle 1. We packed up for an overnighter a few weeks ago, and everything went pretty good.

Now we've decided to take it a bit farther and are going for the whole weekend. We are working up to our vacation this July where we will be camping at Long Beach.

At first the thought of camping with my little guy was frightening. How would I get him to sleep? What would I do with him. Where would he play? Well it turns out little 'ole me worried about it too much ... again. God if there were awards for being worried, I would get a bloody Oscar!

We used a 3/4 therma-rest for his bed. We put a sheepskin on that and used his bundle me as a sleeping bag.

My husband gave him his bed time bottle and rubbed his tummy for a while and he said that the baby just ended up giving a sigh, turned his head and decided to go to sleep. I know!! What the hell? I have no idea how that happened.

We were all around the fire talking and marshmellowing and what not and he didn't wake up. It was great. We went to bed around 11, but we were really disruptive so the baby woke up. We didn't really pay him any mind and climbed into our bags to go to sleep. He was in between us. The next thing I here is skitcha, skitcha, skitch as he was scratching the outside of my sleeping bag as if to say hey mom, what's up, let's play. He got no reaction from me. Then I hear skitcha, skitcha, skitch on my husbands sleeping bag. No reaction from him either.
He did this for a few more times, gave up and went back to sleep. It was hard for me not to laugh while it was happening.

The only problem was that was he kicked off the bundle me and when I woke up in the wee hours to go pee, I checked him and he was a little block of ice. So I grabbed him and pulled him into my sleeping bag with me and we slumbered away until about 7 in the morning.

This time, I am putting him in a sleep sac so if he kicks off his bundle me, he should still stay warm. He's just getting over a really bad cough that had him miss swimming lessons for 2 weeks so I want to make sure he doesn't catch a chill.

As long as the weekend stays dry, it should be ok. I'll bring a tarp and a mat for him to play/roll on and he LOVES fire. Seriously. He was mesmorized. It was like a little babysitter. He'd sit on my lap and stare.

Hopefully all goes well. And this time I am going to remember to bring an extra sleeper.

Coyotes in the City

2008-06-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night somewhere between 2 and 3 am, I woke up out of a dead sleep. It sounded like screeching babies, or people yelling or ... coyotes. It was really hard to figure out what the sound was. That cat jumped up on our bed, she was growling and a huge puffball. Ah ha yes, for sure coyotes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coyote

I live in the middle of urban. There are parks around for sure, but no sustained greenspace that has much brush for cover. I did not expect to ever hear coyotes. I live across from a park where people play Ultimate and flag football, not exactly a good coyote hideout. But they were there lastnight and it was creepy.

I woke my husband up when I was trying to figure out what the sound was. I said "Do you hear that?" He said "yea." I said, "What do you think it is?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I think it's coyotes, the cat is scared." He said, "Oh." and grabbed my hand. I think he thought I said I was scared. This morning I asked him if her remembered me waking him up last night. He said no.Luckily it never woke up my son. He managed to do a couple mysterious wake ups on his own last night. I'm hoping that's a phase. We can get him back to sleep ok, but have no idea why he is waking up. Like I said before, work in progress.

DHA and ARA additives to infant formula. Is it good? Or just good marketing

2008-06-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

Yes I know breast is best. I've been told that so many times I swear sometimes I think I've been hit in the head with a bunch of lactating mammaries.

But for those that for whatever reason decide to give their baby formula, there is a boat load of different stuff out there.

I was and am one of those people. I did breast feed with minimal success. I guess that's what happens when your overdue ravenous baby pops out and your poor ravaged body is still trying to recover from the birth and hemorrhage and trauma. My milk came in late and it was never quite enough. My baby was always on the hairy edge of hungry and I was absolutely exhausted, not healing and feeding all the time. Not just those mysterious growth spurts that people talk about. This was a permanent spurt for shizzle.

Anyway I decided to supplement with formula. It was the right decision for me. I got to rest a bit more, my baby got more food, I got to heal and we got to get to know each other better because I could start to function a bit better.

I tried Similac and it was not the right one for my guy. It was pretty hard on him. Read explosive stinky poops. I then tried Nestle Good Start. He took to it right away and I haven't looked back.

I was buying the DHA and ARA fortified formula because I thought I was doing what was best for my baby. It was almost $10 more for a few hundred grams less, but it must be better right. Wrong! Oh you silly ninny you ( I mean me, not you). I did a little research and believe I was the victim of the marketing machine ... again.

It's pretty slick what the formula peddlers are saying Nestle says "DHA & ARA are nutrients naturally found in breast milk. Nestlé Good Start with Omega-3 & Omega-6 contains DHA and ARA (long-chain Omega-3 & Omega-6 fatty acids) at levels similar to those recommended by the World Health Organization."

Enfamil says "As you may know, the Canadian Paediatric Society considers breast milk to be the preferred feeding choice for babies. That's because it provides balanced nutrition, including the nutrients, DHA and ARA (Omega 3 & 6) that help support brain and eye development, and it provides many other benefits for your baby's health and immune system. Plus, breastfeeding is convenient and economical for moms and dads.

So when choosing a formula, it’s important to select one that provides DHA, at a level similar to that found in world wide breast milk^*, like Enfamil A+^®."

Similac says "This formula contains DHA (an Omega-3 fatty acid) and ARA (an Omega-6 fatty acid), which are also found in breast milk, to help support cognitive and visual development in your baby.¹

Similac Advance with Omega-3 and Omega-6 is the only national brand cow's milk-based Omega-3/Omega-6 infant formula that is palm olein oil-free. It is available in Ready to Use (for added convenience), Concentrate and Powder preparations. It is specifically formulated for infants from birth to 12 months of age. "

Of all the information that I could find, I found no conclusive studies that said this stuff made any difference. The FDA and it's Canadian counterpart have kept mum on the subject and have not funded any studies. The only 2 studies I did find were funded by the formula company or their parent company, so of course they will make it look good. But when you look at the focus group, the amount of time the study was done for, and that there has been no study on long term effects (this stuff was introduced by Enfamil as Lipil in 2002) it's no wonder the governing authorities don't have much to say. There's not enough info to make an educated decision.

You know where they get the DHA and ARA from? From fish oil and fungi. And while the companies all claim that the DHA and ARA are similar, close, and any other synonym they can think of, they are NOT the same. To me that's like saying ground round is meat. It's not. It's good and can be used as a meat substitute, but it's NOT meat.

I think the decision to add this stuff was a purely financial one. Mead Johnson the makers of Enfamil and a Brystol Meyers - Squibb company came up with Lipil in 2002. Shareholders got excited because now a whole new line of formula could be marketed at a premium price. Then they hawked out the scales and fungus (DHA ARA) syrup to other formula peddlers in order to make even more dough to line their pockets. If you look on the store shelf, formulas with DHA and ARA cost more than those that don't.

So I decided that I didn't need derivatives from fish oil and fungi to ensure my kid would be ok. I'm going to take that risk. I'm also not going to be prey for the marketing machine that targets me at a weak spot. Of course I want what's best for my kid. But a formula company capitalizing on that and telling me that I need these additives but it's going to cost extra is complete bullshit. Good marketing on their part but I think that's all it is.

PS: I talked to my doctor and asked her thoughts on it. She believes pretty much the same as I do. She said she hasn't found any reason to suggest to her patients to use DHA and ARA enriched formula. She hasn't come across any information that suggests there are any long term benefits.

In the end it's up to the parent which is how it should be. I decided that if my kid ever wants to eat fish oil of fungi, he can do it of his own free will.

Prince Lionhart Bottle Warmer collects dust

2008-06-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

My guy use to like to have his bottles warmed up. I was doing both breast and bottle so he wouldn't drink the bottle unless it was warm.

I was in Toys R Us one fine afternoon for an insulated bottle keeper, and I found what I thought would be better. The 15 or 20 dollars I paid seemed worth it.

The manufacturer claims the following: "A must for parents on the go! This Bottle Warmer provides instant heat at the push of a button to all Baby bottles and Baby food jars! No batteries or electrical supply needed. Remains warm for hours. Simply boil in water to reuse. Completely non-toxic."

Sounds easy right? Wrong. It is a heavy and bulky addition to any diaper bag. And it takes forever to even slightly warm anything. That and it doesn't fit my Born Free bottles well at all, which is probably why it takes so long to get anything even slightly tepid.

So I tossed that and the insulated bottle keeper on to my Baby shelf of Purgatory. It's a shelf that I put stuff that is fairly useless, but I haven't gotten rid of it yet. I'm hoping the insulated bottle keeper comes in handy eventually as the weather heats up.

What I ended up doing was using my small light weight thermos that I used in my pre-mom days. It's perfect. It's light and keeps the water warm until I pour it into the bottle. So I put pre-measured formula in the bottle, warm water in the thermos, pop it in the diaper bag and I am ready to go.

Now my little guy will take a bottle at room temperature. So the thermos is back under the sink until I go back to work again. I was thinking of taking it when we go camping however. It might be nice for him to have a bottle with the chill of the outdoors taken off of it for bedtime.

Disposable diaper liners

2008-06-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

I use disposable liners in my cloth diapers. They are great. The let the liquid pass through but keeps the solids (if you know what I mean) from mashing in.

When I change a poop, all I have to do is toss the liner and contents on the liner in the toilet. The liners are flushable. Way less stink and mess.

I've even got into the practice of tossing the poop in disposable diapers down the toilet. Mostly because I think it is cleaner and won't end up in a landfill. The poop that is. The bonus is less spell. I don't have a diaper genie or anything fancy like that so smell can be an issue.

Originally I got liners from Hip Baby. They sell Diaperaps. It's like a heavy tissue paper and it comes in a roll of 100. The only thing is, I have to wrap it around the liner that is connected to the adjust to fit diaper and it is a huge pain in the ass. The label says not to double up the liners because it will affect absorbency. There goes my idea for folding the liner in half ...

Then I found some liners at Room For 2. These were slightly heavier and looked like a big roll of toilet paper. The great thing was they were thin enough that I didn't need to wrap them around the liner, just lay it down in the middle. It still kept all the doody on the liner and worked just as good if not the same or better than the diaperap liner.

So now I get these liners. I don't know who makes them, it might be Bummi, but I am not sure. They are a really decent price too. Less than $10 for 100. The Diaperaps were 11 something.

Cloth Diaper soaking solution

2008-06-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

I was told when I bought my diapers to let them soak in a pail with 1/4 cup of hydrox until they were laundered. I did this, but after a while I couldn't get the funky smell out of them. I rinsed twice, let them soak in the washer, but nothing worked.

I then tried putting 1/2 cup of white vinegar in the soaking pail and using the Hydrox in the laundry. After 2 cycles, the smell was totally gone.

Cloth Diapers to do or to not

2008-06-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

Back in the bliss of pregnancy, I had fantastic ideals about the kind of parent I would be. Part of this equation was going cloth.

I had spent endless hours at work researching different diapering systems (yes systems). I worked out what I would need, from diapers to covers to soap. I decided that I wasn't super hard core, so using traditional pre-folds while cheap to buy, was not for me. Yet I couldn't justify or really afford the cost, they run around $20, for the highly coveted pocket diaper. It was the all in one. It was a cloth diaper with a cover on the outside and a pocket inside to put an extra cloth liner. This was the Cadillac of diapers.

Then I came across a local solution that looked like it would fit the bill. They were made locally and they were called adjust to fit. From 8lbs to 35 lbs. Seemed like a good idea. Throw an extra liner in there and slap on a cover and it's ready for action.

So I waddled down to my car, drug my husband along with me and made my way down to Baby-row on West 4th.
I went in to Hip Baby and plopped down close to $600 for diapers, liners, disposable liners, covers and Hydrox.

The reality of the situation was way different than the weird ass picture I had dreamed up in my head.

My baby was born being almost 8 lbs. There was no way in heck these things would fit him. So we decided to wear disposables until he was a little bigger. He got a little bigger.

We were living in a suite in a house and the laundry room was out of the house around the corner in a separate room at the back of the house. Soooo not condusive to do laundry with a newborn around.

So the diapers remained on the shelf. We were moving to our own place in a few months so we'd use them then. I got reminded by my husband that we really should use them as we invested so much in them.

One of the first things that went through the laundry at our new place were the diapers that I bought. I set up the garbage pail with the soaking solution and was off to the races.

They were still really big on him and he really didn't grow into them until around the 15lb mark.

I am happy to say that my son uses cloth, most of the time.

In reality, with a busy life, cloth just doesn't hold up. So for outings, and trips away from home, he rolls in disposables. It works for us.

Fuck you Baby Whisperer and all the other advice I should have never taken

2008-06-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

What a way to start eh? I thought I'd get it out there right away.

Picture this ... my son is 7 weeks old. I'm still healing from the somewhat brutal birth (didn't go exactly as planned, but that's another story) and my baby won't sleep.

I now look back and realize that he slept and he slept pretty much how he should. But anyway, in my life altering haze that is new parenthood, I hear my friend tell me about this book and how her sister swears by it. It's called the Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems.

The premise of the book is that any and all babies can be trained to follow a routine, schedule, whatever you want to call it with the authors' prescribed formula. It's called of all things EASY. eat, activity, sleep, your time.

Seriously some people swear by this book and say it saved their lives. That's great for them. For me, it had me in tears, watching the clock and feeling like a failure as a mother because I couldn't even get my baby to follow these simple instructions.

My baby wouldn't sleep the 1.5 hours that the author said was required in order to have a good nap. Nope he was a 45 minuter. There were techniques to use in order to get your baby to go back to sleep. The shush pat, waking your baby before you know he'll wake to disrupt his sleep cycle and a plethora of other things. None of them worked. I got to the point where I would watch the clock dreading the 45 minute mark knowing he is going to wake up and that I failed again.

What I failed to notice was that when he woke up he was happy and content. I didn't let my little guy listen to his own rhythm, instead I tried to make him do something.

I will admit I was pretty desperate. The only way I could get him to sleep for longer than 45 min was if I held him. He'd wake up if I put him in his cradle and he would scream bloody murder if I put him in his cradle for a nap to begin with.

So I am dealing with a new human I don't understand who cried all the time, my boobs were killing me, I still peed if I laughed or moved the wrong way, no sleep, and to top it off, I had no idea what I was doing. All very common things.

So throw in this book of expectations on infant behaviour and how to modify it and it's no wonder I was going nuts.

I'd even called a sleep consultant. I made the initial deposit to get an appointment. I was sure I was doing something wrong and all I wanted was what was best for my baby and this book said I was doing it all wrong. As I went through the questionnaire for the sleep specialist there were a few things I didn't like. She was very strict. The baby had to have it's own room. Living in a postage stamp at the time, that wasn't possible. The baby also must be in a crib. Mine was in a cradle because that's all we could fit in our room. She said chance of success was minimal if we didn't have at least these 2 things.

Instead of filling with fear and anxiety, for the first time since my son's birth, I got pissed off. Some little voice in me was starting to get louder. It was telling me that I was doing fine, that my boy was fine too and that I didn't need anyone to tell me how to get my kid to sleep. I'd figure it out on my own. I'd figure out how to get him to sleep, and I'd figure out how to put him down to sleep too.

I canceled the appointment and decided to to just let my little guy do what he needed to do.

One bleary eyed afternoon as my babe slept most contentedly on my chest even though I was a little squirmy because I had to pee, I thought this woman is the one who has it wrong. This so called author and authority on infants and sleep has forgotten the most important part. The human part. It's one thing to classify babies and make up a plan, it's a whole other thing to apply it to an individual.

Yes he slept on me and my husband for a couple more months. Yes it was hard to get him to sleep and I orchestrated a whole ritual for him. But it was for him and it worked. Who knows if it would work for anyone else. I watched him and tuned in. What I did, is impossible to do with a newborn. I had to get to know him first.

So it's a outright fucking lie that babies sleep all the time. Some might, but mine never did and never has. He has 2 maybe 3 naps a day, never longer than 45 minutes. Up until recently he would wake up once through the night to eat. Now sometimes he will just wake up because, and we comfort him back to sleep. He's always been good at night.

I am absolutely fine with how and when he sleeps. He wakes up happy, and he is content. Nothing wrong with that.

Looking back, I'm not sure why I was soooo stressed. I think it was the assumption that babies should sleep all the time and mine didn't. When in fact he slept alot. On me, on my husband, in the car, going for walks. He did just fine.

I wish I had have known that things would slip into place eventually. It's still not ideal, it's a work in progress. I know we'll get there eventually. I was so worried all the time that it was going to be like this forever. It wasn't, he just needed time to do his thing.

So I wasted 20 odd dollars on a paperweight. We keep the book as a reminder. When it comes down to it, advice is good, and sometimes helpful, but that little voice inside you that is strong sure, let her out. She knows what to do and will help you figure it out.

My boy doesn't sleep on me anymore except in rare circumstances when he is very upset. The last time he was cutting his first tooth and I had his little sobbing body on mine hoping I could offer him a little comfort.

I think the scads of books out there about sleep and parenting should be approached with caution. In some cases they may really help out some desperate parents. For me, it was all the things it shouldn't have been. I felt like a failure and very insecure. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it so serious, but I was desperate, or so I thought ... and this book fed off my insecurities. How much my kid should sleep, eat, play ... It took away any confidence I was trying to build.

Now I know he does what he needs to do. Sometimes with a little help or prodding from me, sometimes not.

So I really do mean it. Fuck you Baby Whisperer, you've got nothing on my little guy. Thanks for nothing!!